having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

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muthafunky
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 2:45 pm

leela wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 7:04 am
If I hadn't been born I'd have no consciousness to feel anything, and no existence to ponder.
So you’re saying that would have been preferable to you? Pretty dark.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Undertree » Tue May 15, 2018 2:51 pm

I think she's saying it's irrelevant because non-existence isn't
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Caffeine.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by eric84 » Tue May 15, 2018 2:51 pm

You can't have an opinion if you don't exist, Mutha.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Potpie » Tue May 15, 2018 3:05 pm

i don't understand trying to get pregnant with a donor egg unless you have a partner who wants a child of his own blood. Otherwise, going into it older, single motherhood, and a donor egg, why not just adopt?!? Unless the adoptions put a limit on age. I mean, why go through all the hormones which raise the risks of cancer and everything else along with pregnancy stretch marks, morning sickness, etc.


As for some woman having a baby in her 60's, i really don't care, it's her life.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by dragon » Tue May 15, 2018 3:10 pm

well, i guess because there's no such thing as "just" adopting. adopting is a complicated legal and emotional morass, plus usually there are limits on age, as you say. it's also usually quite expensive. although i suppose donor egging is too.

as you probably know, i'm totally pro-adoption, but, you know, there are all sorts of Reasons.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by 5waldos » Tue May 15, 2018 3:16 pm

There usually are Dragon. And I am one of the very old moms- nearly 50 when we adopted 3 - 0, 4, and 6- one week in June now years ago. Well- it was actually ten days.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by veronica_inheels » Tue May 15, 2018 4:02 pm

You people sound like bunch of pro-lifers. The force is strong in you
You only get one turn on this merry-go-round of life. Chase your happiness. -Nines

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 4:03 pm

eric84 wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 2:51 pm
You can't have an opinion if you don't exist, Mutha.
Leela doesn’t exist? Like she’s a bot?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by jessica_fletcher » Tue May 15, 2018 4:12 pm

Oh mum, you are a bore.
VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm
Oops.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by veronica_inheels » Tue May 15, 2018 4:13 pm

Dear leader thinks life giving sperm is precious since he spawned
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 4:29 pm

If I thought that I'd have a lifetime of guilt over masturbation.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by jessica_fletcher » Tue May 15, 2018 4:36 pm

Mum just proved he is a enormous wanker.
VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm
Oops.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by mad hatter » Tue May 15, 2018 4:55 pm

snigger
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 5:00 pm

Guilty!

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by shilgia » Tue May 15, 2018 5:41 pm

5waldos wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 3:16 pm
There usually are Dragon. And I am one of the very old moms- nearly 50 when we adopted 3 - 0, 4, and 6- one week in June now years ago. Well- it was actually ten days.
Oh, wow. Can you tell us more about how that was? I can't quite imagine going from zero to three kids just like that, let alone at 50.
dragon wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 3:10 pm
donor egging
Just wanted to say I liked this term.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 5:46 pm

Who here thinks waldos was selfish?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by korgy » Tue May 15, 2018 5:47 pm

who here thinks that 50 and 60 for a woman having a baby are the same?
"Iranians apparently disagree with korgy"

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 5:48 pm

Who here thinks most moms of college kids gave birth by age 20?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by korgy » Tue May 15, 2018 5:56 pm

who here thinks that being cute has nothing to do with the fact that age 50 and age 60 are very different for a woman having a baby?
"Iranians apparently disagree with korgy"

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by muthafunky » Tue May 15, 2018 5:59 pm



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VinnyD
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:01 pm

Where do you draw the line, korgy? Bear in mind that one of Waldos' kids was six when she was fifty, so that is like having a kid when you're 56,in terms of how old you will be when the kid is x years old (which is the kind of thing that seemed to concern people who were using the word "selfish".)

There is also the fact that Waldos took on three kids while your friend is having just one. So if their ages were the same, I guess that would make Waldos three times as selfish, right? I thought maybe there was a sliding scale: three kids up to six years old at 50 = one kid newborn at 60.

Do you think your friend is selfish? Do you think Waldos was selfish?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by mad hatter » Tue May 15, 2018 6:03 pm

vinny youre full of shit
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by shilgia » Tue May 15, 2018 6:05 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:01 pm
Bear in mind that one of Waldos' kids was six when she was fifty, so that is like having a kid when you're 56
You sure?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by EMG » Tue May 15, 2018 6:05 pm

Yeah I was about to quote that same part.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Klara » Tue May 15, 2018 6:07 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:01 pm
Where do you draw the line, korgy? Bear in mind that one of Waldos' kids was six when she was fifty, so that is like having a kid when you're 56,in terms of how old you will be when the kid is x years old (which is the kind of thing that seemed to concern people who were using the word "selfish".)
Hm?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by jessica_fletcher » Tue May 15, 2018 6:08 pm

Me three!

VINNY IS WRONG!
VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm
Oops.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Klara » Tue May 15, 2018 6:08 pm

Ah ok, it wasn't just me.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by dragon » Tue May 15, 2018 6:08 pm

The oldest was six. The others were four, and zero, she says, so I believe a few months.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by korgy » Tue May 15, 2018 6:09 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:01 pm
Where do you draw the line, korgy?
Vinny, i'm really not interested in this philosophical discussion right now. i think most of us understand that 50 and 60 are very different, without having a debate on where to draw the line. in the future, maybe 50 vs 60 will be like 70 vs 90. but we are not there yet.

of course it is true that everyone and every body is different
"Iranians apparently disagree with korgy"

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by GLimpet » Tue May 15, 2018 6:11 pm


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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm

Oops.

OK, korgy. I thought from the OP that you were interested in discussing this topic. Have a nice day.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by korgy » Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm

so waldos said
I am one of the very old moms- nearly 50 when we adopted 3 - 0, 4, and 6- one week in June now years ago. Well- it was actually ten days.
which would mean she was app 49 when only ONE of the kids was 0. (the other two were older.)

so in that case, i really dont understand how the relevance of her case to my friend's.
"Iranians apparently disagree with korgy"

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by korgy » Tue May 15, 2018 6:16 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm
OK, korgy. I thought from the OP that you were interested in discussing this topic. Have a nice day.
that wasn't the topic. the topic was a woman having a baby at 60.

you can discuss whatever want, it's a free forum. but i said i was not interested in trying to determine where the line is. i am interested in what people think of a single woman having a baby at 60.

you have nice day too.
"Iranians apparently disagree with korgy"

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:17 pm

You don't seem to know your friend's exact age though. Might she be younger than 60? Would it be selfish if she were 55?

I take it you don't think Waldos was being selfish. Neither do I.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:18 pm

Korgy, I don't know if you were one of the people who used the word selfish. That is what I am talking about. I think I would call Waldos more selfless than selfish.

Do you see any selfishness in Waldos' behavior at all?

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by dragon » Tue May 15, 2018 6:18 pm

Waldos was an older mother, is the relevance.

I was 39, by the way, when we adopted. I know that has nothing to do with anything, but I'm tired of letting you people run the show.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:20 pm

My mother turned 40 the day after my younger sister was born. At first the birth certificate gave 40 as age of mother at time of birth. She made them correct it.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by dragon » Tue May 15, 2018 6:22 pm

so you come from a long line of correctors then?

kidding. correcting them seems perfectly reasonable, as they were Wrong.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by northern_goddess » Tue May 15, 2018 6:23 pm

I can't get too worked up about this. Men have been becoming fathers at 'advanced' ages for a very long time. It looks like some women are finally now doing it. Personally I'm not sure if I find it any worse than any number of selfish reasons that people have children. Mostly which are all about them and what they want and not having given a lot of thought to the child or the child's life, considering the likely scenarios that will unfold due to age, socio-economic status, relationship-status, health issues, etc. etc.

I think it would suck to have a parent who is 60 years older than you, but would also sucks to have a parent who is sick, broke, an alcoholic, abusive, who only liked the 'idea' of being a parent, etc. etc.

I think the fact that she is single is irrelevant, if she has the means to have the kind of supports in place she might need (nanny, household help, etc.). Lots of people don't start out single but end up that way anyway or vice versa, so there's really no guarantees. She might fall in love and be married in two years.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by 5waldos » Tue May 15, 2018 6:31 pm

Uh- yea- having a six year old at 50 is actually having a 0 year old at 44 but never mind. I was actually 48, just to further confuse the math.

Shilgia- it was nearly as crazy as you imagine it would be. However, we were living someplace where I could have not one but two full time helpers, to compensate for the fact that I was working and on call 24/7. I could not have done it without their help. It was earth shattering for sure- I was certain I would never get a full sentence out again. It was years before I did. It was fun, it was exhausting, nobody really spoke English, we spent lots of time at the beach but rainy days were- an experience. We traveled a lot, which was always fun- we represented 4 continents so always attracted a lot of attention. Now nearly 25 years later it is hard to really remember just how wild it was. Can't imagine not having done it despite the fact that about once a day we wondered if it had been the most insane thing we had ever done. Which it probably was.
I think it would suck to have a parent who is 60 years older than you, but would also sucks to have a parent who is sick, broke, an alcoholic, abusive, who only liked the 'idea' of being a parent, etc. etc.
This has been may thought about this entire thread. Yes having an old parent can be a challenge but it is not like you can only compare it to a younger healthy parent. My MiLaw's mother died after a long illness when my MiL was 16. My daughter's former boyfriend's mom died after a very long illness when he was 14. Not to mention that life spans have increased a great deal over the past hundred years or so- a parent of age 20 back in the day might only have 15 or 20 years to live. And also- it would depend on the 60 year old. Many are "one foot in the grave" as someone mentioned above. On the other hand- many are full of life and vibrant with the experience and finances to give a child a wonderful life.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by leela » Tue May 15, 2018 6:36 pm

northern_goddess wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:23 pm
I think it would suck to have a parent who is 60 years older than you, but would also sucks to have a parent who is sick, broke, an alcoholic, abusive, who only liked the 'idea' of being a parent, etc. etc.
But wouldn't we judge an alcoholic, abusive parent? And be uncomfortable with a parent who showed no interest in their child at all?

As I said before, I think it's okay to disapprove of this woman's decision, just as we might disapprove of any of the above. We're in no position of power over her, so it doesn't matter to her in the slightest, what we think.
Last edited by leela on Tue May 15, 2018 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by tortuga » Tue May 15, 2018 6:36 pm

northern_goddess wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:23 pm
I think it would suck to have a parent who is 60 years older than you, but would also sucks to have a parent who is sick, broke, an alcoholic, abusive, who only liked the 'idea' of being a parent, etc. etc.
Yeah, this.

Quite a few of us have had less than ideal parents/upbringing/childhood. All kinds of circumstances that sucked. I'm not sure why people are so hung up on age.

I agree with everything else nogs said too.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by VinnyD » Tue May 15, 2018 6:36 pm

It was fun,
Aha! SELFISH!

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by 5waldos » Tue May 15, 2018 6:41 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:36 pm
It was fun,
Aha! SELFISH!
Completely. That was my overriding thought during the first few years- how selfish I had been.

Actually- one of the things that most annoyed me as an adoptive mother (to be really off topic) is when people would tell me how wonderful and self-sacrificing I was to have adopted them and how lucky they were. Uh- no. It really did have an aspect of selfishness- I wanted children and I felt that I was the lucky one to have been able to . (Well, at least most of the time anyway. There certainly were times......but then, I think all parents, natural or adoptive, have those times. )

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Klara » Tue May 15, 2018 6:42 pm

A student of mine totally confused me the other day when he was telling me about his family. His father is older than his meternal grandfather. The kid is 15 or 16, his mother is 50, and his father is 76.

Fairly irrelevant, but this thread made me think of him.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by veronica_inheels » Tue May 15, 2018 6:43 pm

I'm just curious how come they adopted so many kids to a 50 year old waldos?
No matter what you say,50 is old for a woman to have babies/small kids. And they gave her 4 kids to raise.
I think Waldo's is a good human being , but what kind of adoption agency makes such decisions .
Were the kids completely unadoptable to other people?
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by leela » Tue May 15, 2018 6:44 pm

I think my dad and my grandfather were the same age.
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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by 5waldos » Tue May 15, 2018 6:48 pm

veronica_inheels wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:43 pm
I'm just curious how come they adopted so many kids to a 50 year old waldos?
No matter what you say,50 is old for a woman to have babies/small kids. And they gave her 4 kids to raise.
I think Waldo's is a good human being , but what kind of adoption agency makes such decisions .
Were the kids completely unadoptable to other people?
3.Not 4- 3. And we were living away from adoption agencies. When the average number of children in the local families was 10-14, 3 kids was barely beginning a family.

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by Barbarella » Tue May 15, 2018 6:48 pm

northern_goddess wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:23 pm
She might fall in love and be married in two years.
A 6O YEAR OLD WOMAN FINDING LOVE?????

You go too far. Next you'll be telling me she's having a baby :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

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Re: having baby at 60 -- a woman, that is

Post by northern_goddess » Tue May 15, 2018 6:49 pm

leela wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:36 pm
northern_goddess wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:23 pm
I think it would suck to have a parent who is 60 years older than you, but would also sucks to have a parent who is sick, broke, an alcoholic, abusive, who only liked the 'idea' of being a parent, etc. etc.
But wouldn't we judge an alcoholic, abusive parent? And be uncomfortable with a parent who showed no interest in their child at all?

As I said before, I think it's okay to disapprove of this woman's decision, just as we might disapprove of any of the above. We're in no position of power over her, so it doesn't matter to her in the slightest, what we think.
I think that often those sorts of things are hidden and so we don't judge them because we don't know about them. When and if we do know about them we also judge but may also think they are a pretty good parent (e.g. broke parent, only became a parent to trap another person or because they 'liked' the idea of being a parent). It can be difficult to not see that someone is well beyond what is socially considered the 'breeding' years. :)
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