Alright you clever, witty people...

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k2w3
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Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:20 pm

Need some ideas.

Am entertaining overseas boss of my biggest client. Known him for years. Counts as friend. Him and wife coming to NZ for holiday.

Lunch at this swanky resto is putting on a special set menu for a large party and has offered to put up a sign above table. Example would include "John's 60th Birthday!". That sort of bollocks.

I'm torn between naff-don't-bother-with-that-bullshit or doing it but something not as literal and oh so boring as "John and Carole's NZ Adventure".

Am really stuck for ideas.
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by madmonday » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:21 pm

Food
Drink
Swap keys
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:23 pm

a sign over the table?

it's not a nice restaurant

that's tacky

and to call attention to a business meeting in public, even worse

perhaps in a private room but even then

can't they do a header on the individual menus that they should set on the plates with the special menu /options?
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:24 pm

But I know who's going to be there, mm.

Fuck off cows, it's not that in your face. And it's actually a top resto in AKL.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:24 pm

Or so I am lead to believe - food wise.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:25 pm

A big inflatable sheep with:

Happy baa..lated 60th birthday, John (you cunt)

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:25 pm

Who said it was a business meeting? They are on holiday. We're taking them out as friends first.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Bill Barilko » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:38 pm

Cow is right and you hate him for it.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Homerj » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:42 pm

Sorry I am with CT on this one as well.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:43 pm

You called him your top client, it's always business

if he's American, he'll think it's tacky and you'll is rubes

typically, it's done like this, you can often get their logo on it

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:44 pm

ok, so naff-dont-bother-with-that-bullshit it is.

Not American.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by shunter » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:46 pm

A sign? Fuck off.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:47 pm

I think it's tacky too.

Why can't you just have a pleasant meal together? Enjoy good food and wine?

He's 60, not 6.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:48 pm

In the UK they put a sign up at the local roundabout saying "Happy xxth Joan"

My local roundabout was once voted in the top ten most dangerous in the country.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by shunter » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:51 pm

maybe everyone could get team hats and t shirts
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:53 pm

That's a good idea.

Paint

" Happy 60th John!
from your fawning Kiwi subordinates"

on a bedsheet and hang it from the closest overpass.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:12 pm

He's a client, not a boss, temp.

Some of the reading comprehension has taken a dive around here lately.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:14 pm

If he says "jump!" do you ask "how high?"

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:14 pm

Mate, it's still fawning. Skin crawling stuff.

Even the Americans think so.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:18 pm

"Who said it was a business meeting? They are on holiday. We're taking them out as friends first."

As I said, reading comprehension.
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:19 pm

Still creepy!

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:24 pm

A sign wishing a friend all the best in their travels can be "creepy"? Who knew.
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:26 pm

Maybe go with helium balloons instead. Nothing says party like helium balloons.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:28 pm

Now you're fucking talking!
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:28 pm

Those shiny silver ones in unusual love-heart shapes. temp probably think's they're creepy though, so I shall avoid.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Chi_Rup » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:29 pm

Pay everyone in the restaurant to stand on their table and announce "WELCOME TO NEW ZEALAND JOHN HAVE A GREAT STAY" like Dead Poets Society.

Or maybe something Maori? I don't know.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:30 pm

Remember when they all turn on me again:

I alone gave you a constructive suggestion.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:30 pm

Do the haku!

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:31 pm

Haka, you ignoramus.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by NorthAmerican » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:31 pm

cowtown wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:43 pm
Image
I once designed a menu for a private dinner in honor of a friend's 65th birthday. He was well known in the arts world, and the dinner was to be at the home of a woman who was a chef. She gave me the list of courses, I designed the menu, then she took it and had it printed on a sort of parchment that was rolled up and tied as if it were a diploma. The lady had somehow obtained a photo of him when he was 18 or 20, then had copies made so each place at the table had a souvenir photo on it along with the "diploma" menu. I chuckled when I remembered the photo just now, because the original was a faded Kodacolor print of him leaning against a car.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:35 pm

Did he mean 'haiku'?

John and Caroles time
Spent well around New Zealand
Have a good flight home
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:36 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:30 pm
Remember when they all turn on me again:

I alone gave you a constructive suggestion.
Noted, although I secretly suspect it was a subtle piss-take and you're as bad as all these bastards.
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:36 pm

I was just going to mention little Japanese poems, k2.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:37 pm

And I called you pricks clever and witty. Oh the irony. Never again.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:39 pm

temporaryhandle2 wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:31 pm
Haka, you ignoramus.
Whoosh!

3 points to me.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:40 pm

Sure.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:40 pm

k2w3 wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:37 pm
And I called you pricks clever and witty. Oh the irony. Never again.
I dunno. I'm having fun

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:54 pm

Is native son, Stickman, famous in NZ?

https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly- ... ellington/

He's the one to ask about party idea's.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by NorthAmerican » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:56 pm

In Greek mythology, the Three Graces were three daughters of Zeus who presided over banquets and festive gatherings. Because the dinner you're planning is intended to signify a welcome to New Zealand, maybe you could arrange a centerpiece on the table that would call to mind that ancient myth, but incorporating three Maori dancers instead.

The Three Graces:

Image


And below, one of the three Maori dancers I suggest as reminiscent of the Greek myth:

Image
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:00 am

Never heard of him, but that reads about 20 years out of date.

Thanks, NA. Although I am surprised to see you lower yourself to the level of temp and others in this thread.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:01 am

:o
k2w3 wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:00 am
Never heard of him, but that reads about 20 years out of date.

Thanks, NA. Although I am surprised to see you lower yourself to the level of temp and others in this thread.
Hurtful!

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:03 am

This is NA I'm talking about. Mr Highbrow himself, partaking in the pisstake. What is the world coming to here!?
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Chip_Oatley » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:38 am

k2w3 wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:03 am
This is NA I'm talking about. Mr Highbrow himself, partaking in the pisstake. What is the world coming to here!?
You haven't been seeing the real NA.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Citizen Baba » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:50 am

Stephen_Dedalus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:48 pm
In the UK they put a sign up at the local roundabout saying "Happy xxth Joan"
h
My local roundabout was once voted in the top ten most dangerous in the country.

If they did that to me, I’d be bothered the whole time about the missing comma.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Moethebartender » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:15 am

cowtown wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:23 pm
a sign over the table?

it's not a nice restaurant

that's tacky
We're talking Straylia Jr. here. In Snooze Zealand, an Outback Restaurant is upscale. Just make sure to order the bloomin' onion and whatever else passes for traditional hobbit fare. I'm sure he'll be impressed.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by GLimpet » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:47 am

Take him the Sky Tower.

Can't go wrong with a revolving restaurant.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:51 am

And then hire a skywriter for the birthday wishes. If you are going to have a sign, do it properly, k2.

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:03 am

Moethebartender wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:15 am
cowtown wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:23 pm
a sign over the table?

it's not a nice restaurant

that's tacky
We're talking Straylia Jr. here. In Snooze Zealand, an Outback Restaurant is upscale. Just make sure to order the bloomin' onion and whatever else passes for traditional hobbit fare. I'm sure he'll be impressed.
From that bastion of the burger, the USA. And fyi - we don't have Outback Steakhouse in NZ. But I know who does, and I'm not talking Australia.
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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by k2w3 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:04 am

temporaryhandle2 wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:51 am
And then hire a skywriter for the birthday wishes. If you are going to have a sign, do it properly, k2.
Like Baba, this guy is something of a grammarian, so I'd need to check that the pilot can do commas and other pertinent punctuation.
NA: "You just have to search out the weirdos who are weird in a way that seems perfectly normal to you."

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Re: Alright you clever, witty people...

Post by Lost Soul » Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:10 am

k2w3 wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:20 pm
Need some ideas.

Am entertaining overseas boss of my biggest client. Known him for years. Counts as friend. Him and wife coming to NZ for holiday.

Lunch at this swanky resto is putting on a special set menu for a large party and has offered to put up a sign above table. Example would include "John's 60th Birthday!". That sort of bollocks.

I'm torn between naff-don't-bother-with-that-bullshit or doing it but something not as literal and oh so boring as "John and Carole's NZ Adventure".

Am really stuck for ideas.
Ditch the sign and the special menu. Big shots outside the entertainment business don't want to draw any attention to themselves. Take them out to a nice meal where the normal menu is edible.

Make a list of the best local attractions for them to visit. If they drive normally, offer a day to take them, or how to get a cab/uber to drive them there.

If they golf, tell them where the best courses are.

Encourage them to ask you for tips if they have any questions, like "Can we drink the water here?".

Basic stuff.
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