My Love Life (Felix)

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by meat » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:47 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:43 pm
Your day has come and gone, Baba.

But the kid likes me again so who knows where the next spin of the mania wheel will land? She bought me a Buddha for Christmas. And she hates Buddha.

I lived within sight of the dump in Staten Island.

Around the corner is a Tiki bar where Bourdain went with David Jo of the Dolls. David Joe has milked Staten Island for more laughs then even me.
Gotta say, your girl is compelling. You knew that at immediate eyelock.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:53 pm

We will all be dead.

Soon enough, so.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:56 pm

Well, even with the age diff. you first from all the Absolut-chugging.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Citizen Baba » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:59 pm

I see Felix doesn’t keep the ancient-defining high bar.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:02 pm

So everyone gets the joke, my DIL did not know what the word ancient meant. Unlike Baba, that would not be a relationship deal killer for me.

But she's had a lot of troubles with school going way back and she has been doing her bit with the care of my sick mother in law.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Citizen Baba » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:05 pm

Not knowing who Marc Bolan was (my gf) is fine, but I’ll hold the line there.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:09 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:56 pm
Well, even with the age diff. you first from all the Absolut-chugging.
meh
I am bored with the juice.
I only touch it once every 7 to 10 days now
Admittedly, that once is equal to Belorussian levels

...

So, does your stepdaughter like English gentleman with a hint of housing estate and bog Irish brut?

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:10 pm

I harassed Baba for harassing her about that.

Really, who's more of a friend to women here than me?

My DIL thought that Baba was a hipster -so yeah, she'd think you were the Duke of Earl.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:14 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:28 pm
My wife's kid would fuck him (it got back to me). Man, that would be my dream; to call Felix son.

And that would go double if I tapped his mom.


I think the rest of us should just act upon this as having already happened and therefor, true
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:17 pm

Take that ball and run with it.

Paint me a picture.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:24 pm

I’m working your mama and her cane into it too
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:26 pm

You're doing god's work. Actually, my MIL is a looker too. I've bragged a bit about the sister who would do me in a heartbeat, but full disclosure:

She looks like Lyndon Baines Johnson.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by section8 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:30 pm

Senate LBJ or doubling down on Vietnam LBJ?
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:31 pm

cool, I'll put her in there too, lifting you and Felix up like Him and Her by the ears
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Higgs Bossom » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:37 pm

Don't forget to include Beat Raven's sister as well.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by FUUZ » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:40 pm

What Felix needs is an Irish gal. A hot blooded redheaded Irish lass who loves booze, maybe.
As I wander and chunder, I ponder and wonder.
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:40 pm

S-8:

LBJ like if he was really, really sick.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:44 pm

FUUZ wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:40 pm
What Felix needs is an Irish gal. A hot blooded redheaded Irish lass who loves booze, maybe.
Irish women are not as susceptible to Yankee blather.

I could suggest my cousin Kate, a national multiple All Star sportswoman.

But I would have to stab him with a pencil.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:47 pm

What kills me is the latent (OK, very latent) jealousy of Felix and his fabulous Felix-dom.

He don't need a Cowtown script. He can swipe right (or whatever it is) for a couple of hours and make it a reality in 72 hours.

And to put a fine point on it: LBJ if he was wearing a Farrah Fawcett wig. To cop from my idol, Redd Foxx, when I look at her, I get a soft-on.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by FUUZ » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:49 pm

Stephen_Dedalus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:44 pm
Irish women are not as susceptible to Yankee blather.
there must be some Hibernian girl out there who would swallow and wallow in his brand of bildge water.
One with a wild and crazy hair up her ass.
As I wander and chunder, I ponder and wonder.
I'm Slumming in Bedlam. Amuse me.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:50 pm

My father left my mother abruptly when I was 14 years old, and he hasn't contacted either of us since. It was a crushing blow for her, and she retreated from the world. She was never bitter about it, but it was devastating. She lost the love of her life for no apparent reason and was left completely alone, except for me. We have both done our best to forget about him. We were extremely close for the next four years and actually slept in the same bed every night. Eventually, we began doing something that most people would consider evil but neither of us has ever regretted. It was just something that happened. And it wasn't something that just happened once—it went on for two years and ended only when I left to go to university. I haven't thought about this for years, and it is something my mother and I have never discussed. She has since remarried and seems perfectly fine. But even today, we sometimes send each other friendly messages that are vaguely suggestive. The problem is I mentioned it to my wife recently and she went ballistic. She called me and my mother sick and moved into another bedroom and refuses to have sex with me. I wish I had never mentioned it, but it was part of a truth-or-dare session we were having. This has been the situation for the last three months. I have finally lost my patience and I am thinking of leaving. I have never cheated on my wife or hurt her, either physically or emotionally, and I have supported her financially while she studies at university. I have mentioned going to a counselor, but she refuses and claims that she is married to a monster and that no woman would want me. We don't have any children—so if I were to leave, I wouldn't be disrupting an innocent's life. Do you have any advice?
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:51 pm

What's with the hairy ass diss?

Like you wouldn't lick it.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:53 pm

FUUZ wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:49 pm
Stephen_Dedalus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:44 pm
Irish women are not as susceptible to Yankee blather.
there must be some Hibernian girl out there who would swallow and wallow in his brand of bildge water.
One with a wild and crazy hair up her ass.
I could fix him up with my Dublin ex.
A 5 ft 10", blonde ex- pole dancer
Father is a xth Dan black belt, and an alcoholic
Ex husband an American Hells Angel
She is a chronic sleep walker who has to be tied to the bed

What do you think?

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by FUUZ » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:00 pm

wow!, quite a woman. I don't know if F could handle her.

(if she is not tied down, where does she wander off to? What does she do?)
As I wander and chunder, I ponder and wonder.
I'm Slumming in Bedlam. Amuse me.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:00 pm

Citizen Baba wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:18 pm

But once you screen through the obese and those without a full head of teeth or neck tattoos or those with running photos in neon pink Under Armour apparel, the pool gets a bit shallow.
What's wrong with chicks with running photos in neon pink Under Armour apparel?

There are also some sexy neck tattoos.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:04 pm

FUUZ wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:00 pm
wow!, quite a woman. I don't know if F could handle her.

(if she is not tied down, where does she wander off to? What does she do?)
Things like jumping out of the window.

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This is a whole Genre of Str8 Porn

Post by WhosieWho » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:26 am

cowtown wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:50 pm
... We were extremely close for the next four years and actually slept in the same bed every night. Eventually, we began doing something that most people would consider evil but neither of us has ever regretted. It was just something that happened. And it wasn't something that just happened once—it went on for two years and ended only when I left to go to university. I haven't thought about this for years ... The problem is I mentioned it to my wife recently and she went ballistic. She called me and my mother sick and moved into another bedroom and refuses to have sex with me. I wish I had never mentioned it, but it was part of a truth-or-dare session we were having. ... Do you have any advice?
Avoid Truth-Or-Dare with your wife, hon: it's a set-up, you're doomed from the start...
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:28 am

That was some pretty grim me-porn.

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Story Never Happened.

Post by WhosieWho » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:39 am

...we began doing something that most people would consider evil but neither of us has ever regretted. It was just something that happened. And it wasn't something that just happened once—it went on for two years
That's how you know it's troll.

*obv, and assumed by all: cut n paste from smthg like Dan Savage.
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200lbs w/ cane? Well, there's prob a GILF fetische somewhere online for that too!
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:32 am

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:28 pm
My wife's kid would fuck him (it got back to me). Man, that would be my dream; to call Felix son.

And that would go double if I tapped his mom.
She was hot.
I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by mad hatter » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:36 am

felix, the stew equiv of a vaginal prolapse.
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Re: My Non-existent Love Life (hairy Erica cunt)

Post by The Mallard Missie » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:56 am

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The Duck Delusion

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by DCComic » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:28 pm

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:38 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:28 pm
My wife's kid would fuck him (it got back to me). Man, that would be my dream; to call Felix son.

And that would go double if I tapped his mom.
I've returned to this idea a lot. She's not my type, but objectively pretty. Would. My mom's off limits though. She likes and really appreciates you, but stepdad would destroy you in a second. He's a manly man, with guns and carburators and shit.
I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:40 pm

I say stop returning to that idea, let alone a lot. Get a grip.

Stepdad's a big me-fan too. That's how I roll.
Last edited by BeatRaven on Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:43 pm

I don't think it's right that you can fuck his kid but he can't fuck your mom

Felix's Mom is back in play as fair game
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:46 pm

Well, not actually MY kid, thank god. I pay for her birth control, tho.

But yeah, if my wife dies (one hopes painlessly in this example), FM aint my first go-to, but maybe around call #6.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:48 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:40 pm
I say stop returning to that idea, let alone a lot. Get a grip.

Stepdad's a big me-fan too. That's how I roll.
They really liked you. You puzzled them, because you're wildly BT and circumstances. But they ask, "How's BT?"
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:50 pm

Except for here, everyone on earth crazily likes me and is gagging to peer into my life.

That's why I like to come here.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:53 pm

Is this what Donald calls: locker room banter
?

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by cowtown » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:55 pm

So did Felix invite you to meet his parents to show you off?
Was this in Baltimore?

How’s this even work?
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:57 pm

If we're being honest, I could do better than FM.

Not in terms of a worthy person, obviously, but more of a statusy bitch.

Been there, done that to death, but still.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:01 pm

cowtown wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:55 pm
So did Felix invite you to meet his parents to show you off?
Was this in Baltimore?

How’s this even work?
I got sick when housesitting in Baltimore. BT came around just on his own wiles - I'm not sure he even knew I was there.
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:04 pm

Why would I not now why I was where?

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by Citizen Baba » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:04 pm

I hope your chilblains are better, Felix.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:05 pm

Well.
I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:08 pm

Citizen Baba wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:04 pm
I hope your chilblains are better, Felix.
Thanks. I hope I left no grace of fornication on your couch. I slept on that thing for over a fortnight.
I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by BeatRaven » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:13 pm

He has a couch like you'd see in a methadone clinic. Couldn't you just hose it down?

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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:14 pm

I cleaned the place pretty intensively before I split.
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Re: My Love Life (Felix)

Post by section8 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:16 pm

I've been binge watching The Wire (best TV show ever) and now I am mildly interested in Baltimore.
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