New Airline Boarding Strategy

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cummy » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:56 am

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by northern_goddess » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:59 am

It was in Business Class! Two sets of parents, each with two screaming toddlers.

Ok, I know I need to just move on and get over it but ffs, who does that?!!
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by lolasf » Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:22 am

cummy wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:30 am
f
yes, sistah, that was my same reaction. do people really fly in economy?


here are some of the unwashed masses. they're the type that ua attracts.

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I know you're only exaggerating for emphasis, but pull it back. I do travel international economy, maybe once a year if I'm lucky and can afford it. I don't take a huge carry on because I prefer to check a bag, but if I wanted to and was within the rues then I would. Chill.

So count your fucking blessings.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cummy » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:22 am

oh lola!
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:42 am

northern_goddess wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:59 am
It was in Business Class! Two sets of parents, each with two screaming toddlers.

Ok, I know I need to just move on and get over it but ffs, who does that?!!
No on does that! FFS. There should be a rule-no children in biz class. That is just wrong.

Flying biz class is one to my leading motivators to making a lot of money. And retiring well. That and being able to stay at 5 stars.

I just flew economy over to Sri Lanka because I was with my bff. I secretly upgraded my return. We stayed in 2 star "guest houses". I did okay all in all.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Stan In Maryland » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:48 pm

I think they should give free upgrades to business class and first class to all families with young children. That way those of us who can only afford cattle car wouldn't have to put up with them. Those in business and first class obviously have the money to be hiring private jets.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Vodd » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:08 pm

Best thing about travelling with small children is the queue jumping at boarding and customs. If they can upset people in business class as well then all the better.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Troll_Handle » Wed Feb 14, 2018 2:06 pm

This policy can't work, any delay is caused by people spending ages rifling through their pockets and taking coats off before they'll load their bag into the locker. Full locker bins are usually caused by random piling of coats in my experience rather than excess luggage, that's something for the cabin crew to sort out. If it's excess luggage causing delays in the US then clearly there's an easy policy fix. Couples, people with kids and even friends won't be separated and an airline can't make them, they'll just all wait.

Loading by area of the plane makes most sense and works fine with airlines that do that; if there's only one door to board then start at the back 5 rows, then the next 5 and so on. Only the stragglers then have extra queueing to get up to their seat and late boarders tend to be frequent fliers without much luggage, so they're quick to find their seat and settle once they get past.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Homerj » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:11 pm

Believe it or not I'm fine flying in cattle for flights under 4 hrs.
With status I always get an EE aisle seat, I board first, and my bag goes right in the overhead bin above my noggin'.
Other upside they never put kids in the EE seats.
I have had the screaming enfants in both Y and J and it is true they bother you way more in J.
What happened to good solid parenting skills of yesteryear when parents would drug up or give their kids a shot of booze so they would sleep the majority of the flight.
Fucking helicopter parents.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by plumsole » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:48 pm

cummy wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:30 am
here are some of the unwashed masses. they're the type that ua attracts.
Rude!!! I've flown Den-LAX and Den-Cincinnati this year, and I was plenty well washed each time.

However, whatever airline I'll be on from Chicago to Denver in March, I'll be filthy for, having just come off a 15 hour flight from Doha.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by plumsole » Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:58 pm

Oh, and yes, I flew economy UA with max sized carry on, but those were both during holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) so I think lots of people had behemoth suitcases checked, so no issue at all with carry on storage.

If I insisted on flying business or first, my one flight a year would be to visit family in Ohio. No thanks.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cowtown » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:10 pm

is it still no one under 18 in first class?
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by northern_goddess » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:29 pm

cowtown wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:10 pm
is it still no one under 18 in first class?
No, there are no minimum age restrictions.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Kikilamour » Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:42 pm

i've always thought people with unruly children should have a different section to themselves with sound dampening curtains. if it's empty, all the better for them to spread out and annoy each other. if someone wants to absolutely get on a flight and only those seats are available, they have a choice. i don't want screamers foisted upon me.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cowtown » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:00 pm

northern_goddess wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:29 pm
cowtown wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 7:10 pm
is it still no one under 18 in first class?
No, there are no minimum age restrictions.


fuck that

but I don't recall ever seeing a kid in first, international. It's rare that the cabin is even full. Once, I was subjected to a talkative older Texan that I didn't like and he went on and on and on but otherwise, it has been cool. People are a bit more chatty in first than business, it's sort of a bonding thing there but its mainly trying to find out who you are, why you're in first and where you rank in the cabin pecking order but most that ends quickly into the flight
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:43 pm

I'm usually one of the last to board. Why the fuck is anyone in a hurry to board?
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Kikilamour » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:45 pm

the only reason i want to board a bit early is because i take my carry on rollie backpack and I want it stored near me in the overhead. otherwise, if i check in my luggage, i rather be last.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:50 pm

Kikilamour wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:45 pm
the only reason i want to board a bit early is because i take my carry on rollie backpack and I want it stored near me in the overhead. otherwise, if i check in my luggage, i rather be last.
You're not getting there any faster.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Stan In Maryland » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:55 pm

I like to board early as to avoid checking bags I take one oversized "carry on" that I hope they won't notice. I also take a standard carry on, a suit bag, a bag of food, three chickens and a support hamster. I am afraid there won't be room in the overhead for everything, well, not the hamster, she stays in my pocket.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by eric84 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:58 pm

This carry on baggage nonsense has got to stop. Just build it in the price of the flight so we don't have this ridiculous crush to get in.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by strife » Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:03 pm

Yeah. At least even in the boarding gate you can spread your legs. Why anyone would be in a hurry to board a varmint-class flight is beyond me.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by matt_melb » Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:27 pm

Screaming kids don't bother me. I'm just relieved they're not mine and that I don't have to do anything about it.

Boarding by window first is a great idea. Yes of course they wouldn't prevent couples boarding together. Just as they don't really enforce strict row number boarding now, if you say you want to board with someone.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Ledbetter » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:19 pm

eric84 wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:58 pm
This carry on baggage nonsense has got to stop. Just build it in the price of the flight so we don't have this ridiculous crush to get in.
That^^^. I always book aisle closest to the front and hate the thought of having to disembark last because my carry-on had to be placed farther back from my seat. I'm going to have to book a window seat to have a access to my carry-on from now on with these new regulations.
I get up and walk around a bit during long flights because of back issues, and usually masturbate a few times in the loo. The folks sitting next to me with their luggage way in the back that chose aisle and center are just going to have to get used to me waking them up every time I have an erection..oh well.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by leela » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:38 pm

People like me, who prefer a window seat, are now going to have way too much competition for them.
Pass the wine...

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by k2w3 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:43 pm

You have one off of the wrist every time you get an erection (on a plane)?

That's to Led, not you, leela.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Ledbetter » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:54 pm

k2w3 wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:43 pm
You have one off of the wrist every time you get an erection (on a plane)?
How Smug. You've obviously never sat in economy.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Ledbetter » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:14 am

So much guilt.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:25 am

Why the fuck do you people not check your bags? Seriously. Why put yourself through this angst? I check everything. And my only carry one is a laptop/briefcase. And maybe 5% of the time a duty free bag. Just fucking check it and pay the fee, and reduce the stress! It's okay, really.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:46 am

NorthAmerican wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:44 pm
Cyllarus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:22 pm
Just get a cane.
I laughed. My mother and I were traveling around Argentina together, and she walked with a can because she had arthritis. We were seated at the gate, and when they called our flight I told my mother to remain seated until others boarded. "Why?" she asked, leaning on her cane as she rose from her seat. A man rushing to board bumped against her, knocking her back onto the seat. "That's why," I said. I'd been to Argentina twice before, and I remembered the mad rush toward the plane when a flight was announced. The announcement was like the bell that caused Pavlov's dogs to salivate.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Wilster » Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:49 am

I kinda read the whole thread, but kinda didn't.

I'm typically on a UA boarding Group 2 which I don't sweat too much as I will get overhead and am not fussed about getting to the front of the line on a Group 2, and usually would have gotten Economy Plus upgrade (when Cummy can't help me out otherwise).

But WTF, what I hate is trying to get down the aisle and you have some motherfucker that's got to take ten minutes to put his shit in overhead. Okay, let's put our shit in overhead, ah, gotta now take off my coat and put that in overheard, oh wait, now I gotta grab something out of overhead, standing in the aisle, unzipping something in a bag in overhead, blah, blah, blah...all the while not even having an ounce of concern that peeps are trying to even get past them to their own fucking seat.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by matt_melb » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:29 am

ExPat From Hell wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:25 am
Why the fuck do you people not check your bags? Seriously. Why put yourself through this angst? I check everything. And my only carry one is a laptop/briefcase. And maybe 5% of the time a duty free bag. Just fucking check it and pay the fee, and reduce the stress! It's okay, really.
Well, mostly I do check in my bags, if I have them.

But as for why ... have you ever had to fly into a crap airport (such as Melbourne) with inadequate baggage handling? A few weeks ago, we waited 70 mins after landing for our bags to appear on the caroursel.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by rider5 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:44 am

ExPat From Hell wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:25 am
Why the fuck do you people not check your bags? Seriously. Why put yourself through this angst? I check everything. And my only carry one is a laptop/briefcase. And maybe 5% of the time a duty free bag. Just fucking check it and pay the fee, and reduce the stress! It's okay, really.
All the domestic US airlines deciding to charge $25 per checked bag caused the carry on cabin rush.

And yeah I pay the fee but I can see why people want to avoid it. It's human nature.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:02 am

matt_melb wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:29 am
ExPat From Hell wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:25 am
Why the fuck do you people not check your bags? Seriously. Why put yourself through this angst? I check everything. And my only carry one is a laptop/briefcase. And maybe 5% of the time a duty free bag. Just fucking check it and pay the fee, and reduce the stress! It's okay, really.
Well, mostly I do check in my bags, if I have them.

But as for why ... have you ever had to fly into a crap airport (such as Melbourne) with inadequate baggage handling? A few weeks ago, we waited 70 mins after landing for our bags to appear on the caroursel.
Well why yes. Yes indeed I have flown into numerous crap airports around the world. With checked bags. And I am still standing. Still smiling. Still successful.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cummy » Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:05 am

^^^ and still fucking hot.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 4:36 am

No, YOU are the hottest piece of tail in the sky!
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by k2w3 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:10 am

So much guilt. hahahaha

That's why I wouldn't have a wank or have a shag on a plane. Feel the guilt. It's just asking for engine trouble. :)
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 5:48 am

I think that I got crabs from business class once. When traveling long haul and wearing shorts. And it was during a dry spell. So it was not from sex.

That remains a mystery in my life.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by cummy » Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:29 am

maybe it wasn't from business class. could it possibly have been from showering in the british airways first class lounge at heathrow T5? :o :lol: :lol:

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by rider5 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:32 am

I still don't understand where the checked bag fee came from. There must be an MBA out there who can explain why this was a logical progression of the free market or a direct result of heinous gubmint regulation or something.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by fishface » Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:48 am

lolasf wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 5:22 am
cummy wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:30 am
f
yes, sistah, that was my same reaction. do people really fly in economy?


here are some of the unwashed masses. they're the type that ua attracts.

Image
I know you're only exaggerating for emphasis, but pull it back. I do travel international economy, maybe once a year if I'm lucky and can afford it. I don't take a huge carry on because I prefer to check a bag, but if I wanted to and was within the rues then I would. Chill.

So count your fucking blessings.
Thank God someone said this.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:43 am

Fuck you all. Americans are nasty with their carry-ons. We've proved that already. And this photo is evidence. Bravo for you if you are not the American norm.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by ExPat From Hell » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:48 am

cummy wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 6:29 am
maybe it wasn't from business class. could it possibly have been from showering in the british airways first class lounge at heathrow T5? :o :lol: :lol:
That trip I did not have time to shower--I thought about that. And I've really thought about this. So gross. Gym towel or the plane is as good as I can figure. And the probability of this is so, so low.

Hmmm...I wonder if I can find out who was sitting in my seats before I was? That would help. I could then stalk or hire a professional to check them out.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by mishmish » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:08 am

northern_goddess wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:59 am
It was in Business Class! Two sets of parents, each with two screaming toddlers.

Ok, I know I need to just move on and get over it but ffs, who does that?!!
Ummm people with toddlers and means? I know, these people should stay at home where they belong. Didn't get the memo I guess.

I prefer to get on last, for reasons stated here. I generally wait until they are about ready to close the gate doors. And I could not possibly care less where my overhead luggage ends up on the plane. Valuables (passport, wallet, etc.) and things I need for a (long) flight go in bag/purse under my seat.

So anyway, with this new strategy, families would need to get on first (or last) or family members would have to board separately? Same with people traveling together? Sounds doomed to a whole lot of squabbling and bargaining at the boarding gate.

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by NorthAmerican » Thu Feb 15, 2018 12:12 pm

Stephen_Dedalus wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 2:46 am
NorthAmerican wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:44 pm
Cyllarus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:22 pm
Just get a cane./quote]I laughed. My mother and I were traveling around Argentina together, and she walked with a can because she had arthritis. We were seated at the gate, and when they called our flight I told my mother to remain seated until others boarded. "Why?" she asked, leaning on her cane as she rose from her seat. A man rushing to board bumped against her, knocking her back onto the seat. "That's why," I said. I'd been to Argentina twice before, and I remembered the mad rush toward the plane when a flight was announced. The announcement was like the bell that caused Pavlov's dogs to salivate.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Kikilamour » Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:48 pm

strife wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:50 pm
Kikilamour wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:45 pm
the only reason i want to board a bit early is because i take my carry on rollie backpack and I want it stored near me in the overhead. otherwise, if i check in my luggage, i rather be last.
You're not getting there any faster.
what do you mean? the overhead bins filled up fast over my seat. i had to put it further back a couple of rows. when it's time to deplane, and I WANT OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE ASAP after 15 hours, i don't want to go against the current to retrieve my bag. nightmare. you knowattimean?

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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by polardude1 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:51 pm

When there is free check on long haul international flights, I'm often amazed at what passengers carry on the plane. I carry a day pack with some essentials that I can stick under my seat if needed and check the larger bag in.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by northern_goddess » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:00 pm

mishmish wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:08 am
northern_goddess wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:59 am
It was in Business Class! Two sets of parents, each with two screaming toddlers.

Ok, I know I need to just move on and get over it but ffs, who does that?!!
Ummm people with toddlers and means? I know, these people should stay at home where they belong. Didn't get the memo I guess.
No one said that. There is another option. Look, I'm a parent. Based on your knowledge of your child's behaviour do you take your screaming toddlers to a 5 star restaurant (because you have the means to do so) or do you take them to a more family-friendly restaurant? People are spending a lot of money for business or first class for a reason and that reason is the experience, often that includes trying to work (i.e. "Business" class).
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Cyllarus » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:05 pm

People are spending a lot of money for business or first class for a reason and that reason is the experience, often that includes trying to work (i.e. "Business" class)

Speak for yourself. Only "work" I do in long haul business class is trying to determine how much of the better quality booze I can swill down without extreme hangover at end of flight.

Stan In Maryland
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by Stan In Maryland » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:21 pm

polardude1 wrote:
Thu Feb 15, 2018 1:51 pm
When there is free check on long haul international flights, I'm often amazed at what passengers carry on the plane. I carry a day pack with some essentials that I can stick under my seat if needed and check the larger bag in.
I agree, my favorite call is when they announce they are fee checking carry on. So long as I already have a checked bag I take advantage.
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Re: New Airline Boarding Strategy

Post by mishmish » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:43 pm

I agree about nice restaurants and children with little to no self control, but planes are not really the same, in that there is no such thing as a child-friendly flight. All flights are all the same. And on all of these equally irritating flights, business is more convenient for kids than economy. No one ever actually opts to travel with grumpy kids, but as you know, sometimes air travel is inevitable and sometimes kids have a bad day. It's a sad fact but sometimes one is forced to share space with things not curated solely with our tastes and preferences in mind. Life's a bitch.

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