How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

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EMG
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How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:28 am

I go for an early dinner before work. Beef rendang, roti, it was alright.

Halfway through my meal some guy approaches the restaurant and sits noisily at a table, starts asking the waitresses and waiters a lot of questions about the menu. I can see them looking at each other and rolling their eyes almost immediately. He places an order.

They bring him a glass of water and set his table. He immediately tears the paper napkin in half, wipes his brow with it, balls it up and throws it on the floor at his feet.

He then picks his glass of water up, which was not on his paper place mat, and angrily slams it down on his placemat.

Then he starts clapping his hands. Just random claps every few seconds as he stares at other customers.

Then he wipes his hands with the other half of the paper napkin, and throws it onto the floor as well. Then he tells the waiter to charge his cell phone for him.

More random hand clapping. Smacking of the table. Noisily adjusting his chair.

Just as I'm about to leave, his food comes. A bowl of noodles and a bowl of some kind of meat. Both have small vegetable garnishes on top. This seems to agitate him, and he demands that the waiter mixes his food for him. As in - stir the ingredients of the plate together, for him, at his table. The waiter looks like he's about to die of embarrassment, as a manager watches on attempting not to laugh.

I leave and thank the manager and waiter, while trying to convey "yikes, sorry you're dealing with this" with my smile.

What's the diagnosis, Stew? Hardcore OCD or just a total asshole? Or bit of both? I seriously wonder how these people get through life that way. Can someone like that hold down a job?

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by DCComic » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:34 am

Mummy used to make sure he always got what he wanted.
His jobs don’t last long.
Occasionally somebody kicks the crap out of him. Often it’s the police.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:10 pm

Can't imagine he's very successful in relationships either.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by leela » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:12 pm

He obviously has something wrong with him. The random clapping is a big clue. Poor guy, and yes, no fun to have to deal with him either.
One of those things with no solution. And no, he's unlikely to be able to hold down a job.

There's an interesting series on TV here, where people with autism or other developmental disorders are found jobs (albeit temporary ones initially) in reasonably supportive environments. But it's not easy and I've not seen many episodes where the person has been usefully employed.
My local supermarket employs two clearly learning disabled people, but both seem to be useful in their roles, and though quirky, can communicate effectively with customers. The guy in the OP clearly wouldn't be able to.
Pass the wine...

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by DCComic » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:16 pm

Possibly. But the demanding nature and rudeness to staff don’t read like a disability, more like optional dickheadedness.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:20 pm

The water on the placemat and clapping things seemed signs to me of something being off. But also I wondered if maybe he was just trying to call attention to himself by being obnoxious and noisy as he waited impatiently for his food.

People hear are notoriously rude to and demanding of service staff. Sort of a "I'm going to spend some money here, so you're going to grovel a bit" attitude.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Potpie » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:23 pm

mental illness

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:23 pm

Did he take a photo of his meal?

*suspicious*
Last edited by Stephen_Dedalus on Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:26 pm

He did not take a photo of his meal as the waiter had taken his cell phone in the kitchen to charge it.

I took a photo of mine, if you'd like to see it.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by ExPat From Hell » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:28 pm

White guy? From where?
Not gay as in happy. Queer as in Fuck You.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:47 pm

Filipino guy. Maybe late 30s or early 40s. Dressed pretty well.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by shilgia » Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:43 pm

There are businesses that specifically employ people with mental issues who couldn't find a job in a regular company. Maybe a guy like this would be able to stay employed in that kind of place. Maybe not if he's actually aggressive, though.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by gnd » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:02 pm

making an obnoxious YT/social media video...perhaps what people will put up with?

the clapping is odd. Like that Snapping Fingers to get a bartender/waiter? lots of obnoxious people do that though & think nothing of it...
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:06 pm

Here the way to get someone's attention is "pssst".

Took me a long time to get used to that.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by gnd » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:20 pm

heh.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Kikilamour » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:26 pm

oh wow. i wonder if he's got a tick tourettes like. and ocd because he doesn't like food touching. hm. i am surprised he got treated so well. good on the waitstaff.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by VinnyD » Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:01 pm

What leela, potpie, and kiki said. Without the handclapping I might have voted for asshole.

I was once at a café with an Egyptian and he clapped to get the waiter. Apparently OK there.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by brodie_bruce » Tue Feb 13, 2018 3:40 pm

In a rare moment of giving the benefit of the doubt I too am going with something not being quite right there.

Mind you, there are plenty of people who constantly amaze me that they make it through an entire day unsupervised (or unassisted).
He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by GLimpet » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:51 pm

I'm sure some people wonder how someone so meek and unassertive as me gets through life.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Annotated » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:56 pm

EMG wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:20 pm
But also I wondered if maybe he was just trying to call attention to himself by being obnoxious and noisy
Yes, this is it.

The person you encountered is widely known around the world as the Filipino Felix.

And yes, he also has something wrong with him. Of course.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Chip_Oatley » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:58 pm

Felix is soft-spoken, and exceptionally polite to staff.
He just doesn't always know where his napkin is.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by leela » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:22 pm

Chip_Oatley wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:58 pm
Felix is soft-spoken, and exceptionally polite to staff.
Seconded.
Pass the wine...

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:35 pm

EMG wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:20 pm


People hear are notoriously rude to and demanding of service staff. Sort of a "I'm going to spend some money here, so you're going to grovel a bit" attitude.
I’m going with that and perhaps a tiny bit of crazy. Too crazy and I doubt he’d be in a restaurant by himself as my impression is nut jobs don’t do well in the third world or well enough to dress up and dine
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Shavenhead » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:52 pm

In a nutshell: he's a cunt.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:54 pm

It's risky business being a cunt as a patron in a restaurant.

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Disordered Wealthy Adult Baby (Tourette's/OCD?)

Post by WhosieWho » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:20 pm

His family knows owner; owner understands problem. He's somewhat regular there.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by strife » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:29 pm

He's Aspie. This is PC for "asshole."
I am Stalking you.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by dragon » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:07 pm

strife wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:29 pm
He's Aspie. This is PC for "asshole."
wow. what an incredibly ignorant comment.
She is a great-kneed person.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by strife » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:12 pm

dragon wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:07 pm
strife wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:29 pm
He's Aspie. This is PC for "asshole."
wow. what an incredibly ignorant comment.
No, but probably again caustic.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by snowgirl » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:13 pm

Classy, Flexi.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by madmonday » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:19 pm

It wasn't me or dBrother, I have seen him order coffee, very pleasant person.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by guruwil » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:24 pm

It smacks of mental illness or a range of OCD, Tourette’s, Autism like symptoms that would be my guess.

He might also be a gangster who is staking turf and intimidating people, but sounds a bit more like the former to me.

Of course pure arsehole is always a possibility.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by k2w3 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:12 pm

You should have given him a card with this site's URL. He'd fit in ok, I guess. Certainly no stranger than some of you weirdos. *claps at EMG*
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by korgy » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:21 pm

he just sounds drunk, to me.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by leela » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:37 pm

Of course, a lot of people like the guy in the OP (assuming a type of autism or other similar condition) don't survive in our world.
And comments like Felix's don't help them, or those who care about them.
Pass the wine...

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by VinnyD » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:59 pm

Not to mention that he is himself not very well situated to take the position that people with mental disorders are just being assholes.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:28 pm

leela wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:12 pm
He obviously has something wrong with him. The random clapping is a big clue. Poor guy, and yes, no fun to have to deal with him either.
One of those things with no solution. And no, he's unlikely to be able to hold down a job.

There's an interesting series on TV here, where people with autism or other developmental disorders are found jobs (albeit temporary ones initially) in reasonably supportive environments. But it's not easy and I've not seen many episodes where the person has been usefully employed.
My local supermarket employs two clearly learning disabled people, but both seem to be useful in their roles, and though quirky, can communicate effectively with customers. The guy in the OP clearly wouldn't be able to.
That.

Even for someone like JHW, whose issues are not as immediately identifiable as the man in your story, it requires a lot of work, planning and advocacy to integrate people into the mainstream. I can only imagine how hard it is in societies without any real community welfare structures.

I worry myself sick about how JHW will cope when I am gone.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by ben_hanscombe » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:13 am

Nothing about the description says OCD at all.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by guruwil » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:53 am

ben_hanscombe wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:13 am
Nothing about the description says OCD at all.
Sure it does, OCD presents in a lot of different ways, the tearing the napkin in half and wiping scrunching and tossing on the floor and then repeating could be OCD, the agitation and insisting the vegetables be mixed through the food could be ocd. Even the hand clapping could be an OCD ritual. Doesn’t definitely say OCD but it’s certainly not out of the question.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by ben_hanscombe » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:56 am

Anything out of the ordinary could be an OCD ritual, but nothing about this suggests OCD at all.
Born a worm, spins a coccoon
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by guruwil » Wed Feb 14, 2018 12:08 pm

I disagree, I don’t definitely say it is OCD, but it is very likely in the realm of OCD, Tourette’s, autism and or mental illness and sometimes combinations of those occur together.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by sieve » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:32 pm

I was eating breakfast at a restaurant one morning and the lady next to me sent her scrambled eggs back because the whites and yolks weren't fully integrated.
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Lulu » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:45 pm

Did the server charge his cell phone for him?
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:51 pm

Yes. Service staff will do anything you ask here. When I first arrived in Manila I went out with an Indian colleague and he made a server go across the street and buy him cigarettes from a 7-11. I felt embarrassed just by association.

It's like they're never told they can say "no".

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by temporaryhandle2 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:42 pm

When I worked in Aviation, we used to deal with the Australian accident investigation bureau. It does a lot of investigative work for South East Asian Governments.

The number of accidents arising from co pilot unwillingness to to contradict his superior's poor decision making was enormous

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by EMG » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:52 pm

Sounds about right.

Videos pop up here from time to time of motorists physically abusing traffic enforcers, and the traffic enforcers just take the beating, because the guy beating them has a car, so therefore is richer and superior. It's sad.

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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by leela » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:53 pm

Wasn't that the reason given for the one of the Korean Airlines disasters? The first officer knew that something was going wrong, but felt unable to contradict his captain?
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Re: How do some people survive in our world? (longish story)

Post by Lulu » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:42 am

EMG wrote:
Wed Feb 14, 2018 3:51 pm
Yes. Service staff will do anything you ask here. When I first arrived in Manila I went out with an Indian colleague and he made a server go across the street and buy him cigarettes from a 7-11. I felt embarrassed just by association.

It's like they're never told they can say "no".
That doesn't exactly encourage the best behavior in people.
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