I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

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strife
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I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:39 pm

Because I picked the wrong week to stop smoking crack, I was at the bar at like nine this morning, shirking my Work Obligations at the Office Firm. The barmaid was a hot Jersey-type guidette, and we chatted famously. I never - NEVER - except this time, ask out the service staff, because it's just lame. But I thought it was a gimme. She delivered the kindest 'no' that anyone has ever said to me, so I Left.

It Hurts. It could have been a further Complication to life, one that I failed to seize.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by DCComic » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:41 pm

The symptoms of mania include: elevated mood, inflated self-esteem, decreased need for sleep, racing thoughts, difficulty maintaining attention, increase in goal-directed activity, and excessive involvement in pleasurable activities. These manic symptoms significantly impact a person's daily living.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by EMG » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:44 pm

Burn the bar to the ground. It's the only way to stop the Hurt.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by mad hatter » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:46 pm

did she decline because of your girlish hands?
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Wed Jan 03, 2018 6:47 pm

EMG wrote:Burn the bar to the ground. It's the only way to stop the Hurt.


I don't want to put her out of a job, but otherwise, Yes.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by DCComic » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:28 pm

Take more lithium.
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strife
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:37 pm

Harm yourself, painfully, Petula.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Barbarella » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:40 pm

You make me sad.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:41 pm

Barbarella wrote:You make me sad.


He's a Bad Person.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Barbarella » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:45 pm

And you're a good person, but you make bad choices.

Dont burn down the bar.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by DCComic » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:46 pm

Why do you think feminising somebody insults them?
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Lost Soul » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:52 pm

strife wrote:Because I picked the wrong week to stop smoking crack, I was at the bar at like nine this morning, shirking my Work Obligations at the Office Firm. The barmaid was a hot Jersey-type guidette, and we chatted famously. I never - NEVER - except this time, ask out the service staff, because it's just lame. But I thought it was a gimme. She delivered the kindest 'no' that anyone has ever said to me, so I Left.

It Hurts. It could have been a further Complication to life, one that I failed to seize.

That's a smart barmaid.

Clearly she has been in relationships with lawyers before, and now knows better.
IMPRISON BUSH!

INDICT HILLARY!

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Wed Jan 03, 2018 7:54 pm

Barbarella wrote:And you're a good person, but you make bad choices.

Dont burn down the bar.


I'm not going to burn down the bar. That would put her out of a job, and I don't wish that upon her.
I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Annotated » Wed Jan 03, 2018 9:43 pm

Gosh. That's too bad.

How disappointed will your "girlfriend" be?
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by FUUZ » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:43 am

The truth is that she is a highly advanced soul who is on her last incarnation on earth, and she psychically saw that a relationship with you could cause negative karma for her to be engendered, thus slowing down her much desired departure to better places.
She actually thought you were cute as all fuck, and her clit and nips got all enlarged and her vagina got wet just rappin' with you, but to her this is a dangerous situation.
As I wander and chunder, I ponder and wonder.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:56 am

FUUZ wrote:The truth is that she is a highly advanced soul who is on her last incarnation on earth, and she psychically saw that a relationship with you could cause negative karma for her to be engendered, thus slowing down her much desired departure to better places.
She actually thought you were cute as all fuck, and her clit and nips got all enlarged and her vagina got wet just rappin' with you, but to her this is a dangerous situation.


I really like you. You're the most endearingly strange poster here.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by FUUZ » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:09 am

strife wrote:I really like you. You're the most endearingly strange poster here.


well. thank you for the Cloplimate. I like you too.
But, one leeeetle thing I would like to elucidate: I aint as Strange as some people might think.
I am sorta a frustrated comic. I should have gone to Second City, like two ppl I know. My mind is on ironies and humor constantly. I can make ppl laugh, extremely easily, often. I would have done well there I think.
As I wander and chunder, I ponder and wonder.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by korgy » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:28 am

what happened to the potential relationship you didnt want to fuck up?
"the rise of Kim Crow"

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Flobster! » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:31 am

And the Azores trip?
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Citizen Baba » Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:39 am

Not every woman will date a 6'9" man.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by harry_flashman » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:30 am

Is the term 'barmaid' common in North America?

I once refused service in the UK because of my refusal to refer to a barmaid as a bartender.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by The Mallard Missie » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:09 am

The barmaid was a ladyboy who doesn't like low class cunts such as hairy Erica.
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Boozing 9am, workday?

Post by WhosieWho » Thu Jan 04, 2018 3:51 pm

Jersey Shore chick would know (firsthand, prob w/ painful experience) plenty of addicts; why would she not spot you a mile off?

She works in a bar, hon.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by mad hatter » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:06 pm

WhosieWho wrote:Jersey Shore chick would know (firsthand, prob w/ painful experience) plenty of addicts; why would she not spot you a mile off?

She works in a bar, hon.
9am on a school day, tripping at a bar, now what would the signs be?

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Signs

Post by WhosieWho » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:15 pm

https://www.ncadd.org/get-help/take-the-test/am-i-alcoholic-self-test

Getting destroyed in the morning is "cute" - if you're under 25, or on hols somewhere party.
Getting destroyed in the morning at the Office, week after New Years, is, well ... Briddish? Oirish? There was a hilarious thread awhile back: Churchladies rationalizing am boozing; normal ppl don't. Not that anyone should confuse The Stew with normal!
Last edited by WhosieWho on Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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strife
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:19 pm

Every day I Attract spectators at life, spectators who feel Entitlement to verisimilitude.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by mad hatter » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:26 pm

laughing at you =/= spectator

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He means "vicariousness."

Post by WhosieWho » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:51 pm

Poor thing, addled. But no, we're not clutching pearls watching the train wreck.

We did feel pangs watching Zaffer self-destruct, true, but we get mixed feelings watching the genuinely Evil or Psychopathic Kill-Self.
Last edited by WhosieWho on Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Annotated » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:52 pm

The funniest part is that there are still people on this site who take this asshat seriously. Churchladies, mostly.

Every time he comes up with a new imaginary girlfriend or a new tale about how he's wrecked his life on a cocaine jag, quitting a "very good job" and driving away a "long term" girlfriend who was "the one," they jump in to lament right along with him, telling him to get his act together, and that they love him but that he's a very bad boy.

Essentially, they mother him, which is exactly what all the lies are designed to attract.

As the churchladies here are as fucked up as his own mother, he feels comforted by it all and gets that warm fuzzy feeling that only a cold, hard bitch like Mummy knows how to deliver.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by DCComic » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:53 pm

Day 1. "I shat myself".
Day 2. "I lied. You looked."

Great stuff.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by strife » Thu Jan 04, 2018 5:54 pm

Inevitable.
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Hipster Theme, c.1917

Post by WhosieWho » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:34 am

Image
"This entire paragraph is just repeating Fake News. There was NO blood, NO semen and there was NO Satanism. Delete." -- The Editor

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by guruwil » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:46 am

I would suggest any girl who turns down a guy who frequents a bar at 9am on a work day, is a smart woman with good judgement.
An it harm none, do what ye will

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by BeatRaven » Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:38 pm

Anno, Felix's mother is a very lovely person in every way. He said I'd be attracted and he was right.

But who could have foreseen such a deep spiritual connection between us too?

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by mad hatter » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:05 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 2:38 pm
Anno, Felix's mother is a very lovely person in every way. He said I'd be attracted and he was right.

But who could have foreseen such a deep spiritual connection between us too?
you shagged his mother?
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by cowtown » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:11 pm

god I hope so
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:13 pm

Foolix is getting it in the neck recently.

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Annotated » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:25 pm

Stephen_Dedalus wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 6:13 pm
Foolix is getting it in the neck recently.
That's because his ass is worn to shreds.
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Shavenhead » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:34 pm

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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Annotated » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:51 pm

Shavenhead wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:34 pm
Image
Question: Which one wakes first?
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Problematic.

Post by WhosieWho » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:01 pm

Annotated wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:51 pm
Shavenhead wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:34 pm
Image
Question: Which one wakes first?
Oh G_d: non-consensual masturbation?
How do they organize that!
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Re: I was Destroyed by a DC barmaid this morning.

Post by Annotated » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:03 pm

Mutual non-consensual masturbation.
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No, srsly.

Post by WhosieWho » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:12 pm

One wants to; one doesn't.
*waits until she's asleep*
That's RAPE!!!1 (Hilary Sez) in some states, no?

Any Siamese stand-up comics?
"This entire paragraph is just repeating Fake News. There was NO blood, NO semen and there was NO Satanism. Delete." -- The Editor

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