Pregnancy as a trap

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TheRedWoman
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by TheRedWoman » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:04 pm

Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:58 pm
TheRedWoman wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:40 pm
Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:22 pm
Oh I see. Women are perfect little angels who never ever behave badly or do anything wrong ever. What a ridiculously condescending attitude.

Anyone here shiting on about equality of the sexes needs to give their head a wobble cos you aint got a fuckin clue.

As for the racism. Nice.
You need a friend. Or a hug. Or both. And sex. Lots of sex. Or a pet fish. Work your way up to a dog. Something to call your own.

Women aren't angels. And grown men are not clueless little boys led down a path to take a bite of an apple (a la Adam/Eve) that leads to their destruction. Two people decide to shag, the outcome (disease or pregnancy) is shared equally.

Here ends my investment in this.
You've clearly not read the thread. You're an idiot. hth.
Meh. Today only. You're an idiot for life. See Moe's comments.
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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:09 pm

Crazy idiots leave my beloved thread immediately.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:11 pm

And to those now disagreeing with me due to recently cultivated dislike, where previously you agreed with me and defended me in this thread, well not even gonna. Its like shooting fish in a barrel.

TheRedWoman
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by TheRedWoman » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:12 pm

Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:09 pm
Crazy idiots leave my beloved thread immediately.
Only on the promise that one day you will make an OP that is actually about YOUR life.
NB: You must first get one.
Vron: "I wouldn't crush you under my heel Seamus. The smell"

"I believe you. You seem like more of a bukake girl. :P" - SeAnusMcStool

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strife
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by strife » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:14 pm

Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:11 pm
And to those now disagreeing with me due to recently cultivated dislike, where previously you agreed with me and defended me in this thread, well not even gonna. Its like shooting fish in a barrel.
Are we friends or enemies?
I am Stalking you.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:17 pm

strife wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:14 pm
Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:11 pm
And to those now disagreeing with me due to recently cultivated dislike, where previously you agreed with me and defended me in this thread, well not even gonna. Its like shooting fish in a barrel.
Are we friends or enemies?
We're friends xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:17 pm

TheRedWoman wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:12 pm
Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:09 pm
Crazy idiots leave my beloved thread immediately.
Only on the promise that one day you will make an OP that is actually about YOUR life.
NB: You must first get one.
Fine now kindly fuck off.

TheRedWoman
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by TheRedWoman » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:20 pm

no.
Vron: "I wouldn't crush you under my heel Seamus. The smell"

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:23 pm

Who is this gobshite? ^^^^

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strife
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by strife » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:29 pm

Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:17 pm
strife wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:14 pm
Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:11 pm
And to those now disagreeing with me due to recently cultivated dislike, where previously you agreed with me and defended me in this thread, well not even gonna. Its like shooting fish in a barrel.
Are we friends or enemies?
We're friends xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox
Okay cool.
I am Stalking you.

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Klara
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Klara » Sat Feb 10, 2018 7:28 pm

tortuga wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 5:52 pm
They both sound really thick. Why are you friends with these people, Barbs? Is it because you still live near them and there's no escape?
That's what I'd like to know too.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:38 pm

Well, all my friends are different. I woulda thought thats the same for everyone?

Guess I'm either more popular or more open minded than most.

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section8
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by section8 » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:44 pm

Barbarella wrote:
Sat Feb 10, 2018 8:38 pm
Well, all my friends are different. I woulda thought thats the same for everyone?

Guess I'm either more popular or more open minded than most.
Most posters here have extremely tiny "bubbles" that they live in.
This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:24 pm

Clearly.

But how nice, thats a diplomatic way to say "practically friendless"

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misanthrope
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by misanthrope » Sat Feb 10, 2018 10:36 pm

Perhaps the simplest solution is for Shamu to move to Ireland and adopt the child as his anchor baby.

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Troll_Handle
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Troll_Handle » Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:02 pm

I really want to pick a side and fight, but I'm unclear what each side stands for.
- Man and woman find they are expecting a child after sex, it happens.
- Man and woman find they are not enjoying a relationship, seems common, unremarkable.
- Man thinks woman is "sitting on her hole" because she's "only" looking after a 6 month old baby alone for 16 hours - some men might, in real life maybe she wants an hour or two of sleep before night feeds?
- If the woman is taking drugs while "caring for" a tiny baby then clearly she's a nasty fucker and that's a major problem. Not sure we have real evidence for that though, only supposition.
- Man thinks because he doesn't enjoy a relationship that he no longer has financial responsibility for the child - well yes, the worst type of man does think this.
- Dysfunction makes for more interesting gossip than happiness.

So what exactly are you all disagreeing about? Nobody seems to dispute the general facts and standard opinions I've listed above. It's just a sad but common story. Worth telling because Barbarella writes enthusiastically, but unremarkable in its true content.

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rezuar
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by rezuar » Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:08 pm

Oh, I have some friends, which would get scorn in Stew, too. I just don’t post here about them much.
Keep an open mind but not so open your brain falls out.

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snowgirl
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by snowgirl » Sun Feb 11, 2018 3:38 pm

Great summary TH. It's also notable that, even with a child involved, at the first sign of trouble the guy's response is to bolt rather than stay and try to work things out. Have they talked about marriage counselling?
Our problem is civil obedience. -Howard Zinn

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Sun Feb 11, 2018 8:37 pm

Troll_Handle wrote:
Sun Feb 11, 2018 12:02 pm
I really want to pick a side and fight, but I'm unclear what each side stands for.
- Man and woman find they are expecting a child after sex, it happens.
- Man and woman find they are not enjoying a relationship, seems common, unremarkable.
- Man thinks woman is "sitting on her hole" because she's "only" looking after a 6 month old baby alone for 16 hours - some men might, in real life maybe she wants an hour or two of sleep before night feeds?
- If the woman is taking drugs while "caring for" a tiny baby then clearly she's a nasty fucker and that's a major problem. Not sure we have real evidence for that though, only supposition.
- Man thinks because he doesn't enjoy a relationship that he no longer has financial responsibility for the child - well yes, the worst type of man does think this.
- Dysfunction makes for more interesting gossip than happiness.

So what exactly are you all disagreeing about? Nobody seems to dispute the general facts and standard opinions I've listed above. It's just a sad but common story. Worth telling because Barbarella writes enthusiastically, but unremarkable in its true content.
Oh no I'm sure he'll take financial responsibility, he just wont want to share his house with her anymore, understandably. Who knows, he coulda just been venting. Yeah enthusiastically glad you see it as such, I'd say I'm more world weary and sick of same story yet still wanted honest and balanced opinions since, as you said it is a very common occurence. Perhaps not in the context of someone obsessed with someone for so long that all their dreams come true yet still suck. But I take your point.

See crazy people? This is how normal unbiased not requiring heavy meds and therapy people interact. Please try and take note.

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Troll_Handle
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Troll_Handle » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:25 am

He might have just been venting, yes. I do think that venting to others rather than arguing with your actual partner is a sign of more serious problems, but not everyone thinks that, some are over-sharers. Arguing is normal, it takes any couple some time to work out how to share their lives happily without either missing out and look after a baby must increase stress. Her previous obsession puts her firmly in the drama llama camp, so she was always going to be high maintenance. If he's your friend, then you could counsel him to spend some time working on their relationship and how to make it work for both of them. As you suggested earlier though, this is most likely how their second child will be born.

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Troll_Handle
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Troll_Handle » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:27 am

rezuar wrote:
Sun Feb 11, 2018 1:08 pm
Oh, I have some friends, which would get scorn in Stew, too. I just don’t post here about them much.
Friends??? You have friends??? You'll be an outcast now.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:56 am

Troll_Handle wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:25 am
He might have just been venting, yes. I do think that venting to others rather than arguing with your actual partner is a sign of more serious problems, but not everyone thinks that, some are over-sharers. Arguing is normal, it takes any couple some time to work out how to share their lives happily without either missing out and look after a baby must increase stress. Her previous obsession puts her firmly in the drama llama camp, so she was always going to be high maintenance. If he's your friend, then you could counsel him to spend some time working on their relationship and how to make it work for both of them. As you suggested earlier though, this is most likely how their second child will be born.
If he spoke to me about it I'd do nowt but listen tbh. She's just too secretive about all this the reason being unfortunately she goes from pillar to post her entire life, fighting with one then friends with the other and back and forth, so she's sensitive to how that makes her appear. I've only heard his side second hand. Until she tells me I'm saying naaaaathin. And even then, platitudes.

I mean lets face it, who ever truly takes on anyone elses "advice". They do if they were inclined that way anyway.

I think she needs counseling and has for years, and also to get off the fuckin drugs forever, I thought having a kid would do that but no. And I wouldnt dream of suggesting either to her cos its all she hears from close family. She just wont do it.

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Troll_Handle
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Troll_Handle » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:22 am

That's sad, but god yes, don't get involved unless one or the other explicitly asks for advice. Even then, people don't like the answer that perhaps they have faults to fix, so messages require caution.

One friend of mine recently had a fling with a random (IMO very unattractive) friend from work. We get on very well with her and her partner, I just can't see half the things she says are an issue with him. I told her she needs to break it off with one of them or I really don't want to hear any more about how she thinks she has issues, because she isn't being fair to either nor constructively dealing with the problems she says are there. After a few weeks silence she's dumped the fling and says she's working on things. I guess I'm obligated to listen again now, but I really wish I wasn't. I'm sticking with politeness (did you tell him you feel like this? Blah blah) and skimming over her text replies.

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Barbarella
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Barbarella » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:33 am

I think some people are addicted to drama more than anything else.

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leela
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by leela » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:21 pm

This sort of thing is why I don't tell anyone stuff. No-one really wants to know, do they? I had a brief flirtation with sharing, but it didn't work out. I'm sticking to bottling things up, early grave inducing or not.
Pass the wine...

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snowgirl
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by snowgirl » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:31 pm

Lee-la! There's a difference between sharing and over-sharing. If you don't share things with friends you love you're actually doing them a disservice, not letting them in on the awesomeness that is you. Bab's friend is obvs a drama queen and therefore probably a bit boring to listen to. You are not. Be brave. Share.
Our problem is civil obedience. -Howard Zinn

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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Cyllarus » Tue Feb 13, 2018 9:38 pm

If you don't share things with friends you love you're actually doing them a disservice, not letting them in on the awesomeness that is you.

Pay attention peoples. Snow has just described every single Canadian.

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leela
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by leela » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:12 pm

I share my awesomeness, obviously, snowgirl. But do people appreciate it, I wonder?

Worries and confidential stuff, for different reasons, not so much these days.
Pass the wine...

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snowgirl
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by snowgirl » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:22 pm

But worries and confidential stuff is all part of the package. Depends on the confidential stuff, obvs. But still. How much is confidential with really good friends?
Our problem is civil obedience. -Howard Zinn

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Kikilamour
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Kikilamour » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:57 pm

what snowgirl said.

babs, i like you.

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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by VinnyD » Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:29 pm

leela wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:21 pm
This sort of thing is why I don't tell anyone stuff. No-one really wants to know, do they? I had a brief flirtation with sharing, but it didn't work out. I'm sticking to bottling things up, early grave inducing or not.
There is no evidence to support the pop-psychological idea that bottling things up leads to future explosions, ulcers, heart attacks, etc. If I recall correctly, there is some evidence (I don't know how strong) that people who keep things bottled up live longer than people who let it all out.

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leela
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by leela » Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:05 pm

Well that's good to know, Vinny.
Pass the wine...

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dragon
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by dragon » Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:15 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:29 pm
leela wrote:
Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:21 pm
This sort of thing is why I don't tell anyone stuff. No-one really wants to know, do they? I had a brief flirtation with sharing, but it didn't work out. I'm sticking to bottling things up, early grave inducing or not.
There is no evidence to support the pop-psychological idea that bottling things up leads to future explosions, ulcers, heart attacks, etc. If I recall correctly, there is some evidence (I don't know how strong) that people who keep things bottled up live longer than people who let it all out.
that IS good to know. but....link? i'd like to read it.
She is a great-kneed person.

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Klara
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by Klara » Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:56 pm

Excellent news! A link would be greatly appreciated, yes.

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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by cowtown » Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:23 pm

I was thinking recently that I have entered the phase of peak pregnancy scare, later life. I haven’t been as afraid of knocking someone up since high school, college. It makes an interesting bookend to working life

I’m so close to getting out, a kid would tie me down for 20 years
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jessica_fletcher
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by jessica_fletcher » Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:46 pm

Get the snip
VinnyD wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 6:13 pm
Oops.

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VinnyD
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Re: Pregnancy as a trap

Post by VinnyD » Mon Feb 19, 2018 7:38 pm

I think this is the study I was thinking of. It is not as far-reaching as I remembered.

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