Guacamole

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DCComic
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Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Mon Sep 17, 2018 5:39 pm

A chef just told me that if you put the avocado stones back into mixed guacamole they stop it from turning brown.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by EMG » Mon Sep 17, 2018 6:27 pm

I call bullshit

so I googled

I was right
“Putting an avocado pit in the guacamole keeps it from turning brown.” ... Actually, the pit will block the air from turning the guacamole directly under it brown, but then again so would a rock, and the exposed guacamole will still color. Use plastic wrap and you should be fine.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Bill Barilko » Mon Sep 17, 2018 6:57 pm

EMG wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 6:27 pm
I call bullshit....I was right...
^ this.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by northern_goddess » Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:52 pm

I've tried it before. It doesn't work. So not only do I call bullshit, I have first hand experience that has proven it is bullshit.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by Homerj » Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:09 pm

I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is bullshit.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

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Re: Guacamole

Post by bundes » Tue Sep 18, 2018 2:14 am

northern_goddess wrote:
Mon Sep 17, 2018 7:52 pm
I've tried it before. It doesn't work. So not only do I call bullshit, I have first hand experience that has proven it is bullshit.
Same.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by lolasf » Tue Sep 18, 2018 4:13 am

I grew up with that mythology, and no, it doesn't really work.

A layer of cling wrap against the surface of your guac will make things better. You can still get some brown spots where the air comes in, but it stays mostly green.
Things fall apart, it's scientific.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by muthafunky » Tue Sep 18, 2018 4:48 am

How bad must the guac be in ole Blighty?

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Re: Guacamole

Post by mad hatter » Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:51 am

leaving the seed in half an avo and squeezing lemon on the cut side then covering in cling film works.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by leela » Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:34 am

I wouldn't visit that chef's restaurant.

That's a well known old wives tale that doesn't work. As others have said, cling film all the way.
Pass the wine...

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:13 am

leela wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:34 am
I wouldn't visit that chef's restaurant.
Why? Is it harmful?
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Re: Guacamole

Post by leela » Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:17 am

Nah. Just because he's dim.

But seriously, I hope he doesn't believe any hygiene related old wives tales.
Pass the wine...

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Chi_Rup » Tue Sep 18, 2018 3:29 pm

Lime juice stops your guacamole going brown. Also, eating it.

If you’ve ended up with a critical amount of extra guacamole then you fucked up.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:47 pm

leela wrote:
Tue Sep 18, 2018 7:17 am
Nah. Just because he's dim.

But seriously, I hope he doesn't believe any hygiene related old wives tales.

Didn't strike me as particularly dim. Just wrong, apparently.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by Troll_Handle » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:45 pm

Add lime, pepper, chipotle flakes, chopped cherry tomatoes and a spoon of sour cream to your squished avocado. That way there's never any left over to go brown.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by VinnyD » Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:16 pm

Don’t call that guacamole, though.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by lolasf » Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:52 pm

I think she was solid right up until the sour cream.
Things fall apart, it's scientific.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Wed Sep 19, 2018 7:58 pm

In Galway, a “Mexican” restaurant added mayonnaise to their guacamole.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Troll_Handle » Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:26 am

lolasf wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:52 pm
I think she was solid right up until the sour cream.
Taste first, criticise later.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Fri Sep 21, 2018 8:47 am

VinnyD wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:16 pm
Don’t call that guacamole, though.
Does pizza stop being pizza when pineapple is added?
Maybe bread is no longer bread when it has corn syrup?
How about beer?
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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:09 pm

The addition of sour cream cheapens the guacamole experience.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by VinnyD » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:11 pm

It was the sour cream that got to me.

DCC, if I follow that recipe but substitute banana for the avocado, have I still got guacamole?

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Re: Guacamole

Post by polardude1 » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:15 pm

DCComic, I kindl request that you refrain from culturally appropriating Guacamole.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:33 pm

VinnyD wrote:
Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:11 pm
It was the sour cream that got to me.

DCC, if I follow that recipe but substitute banana for the avocado, have I still got guacamole?
We’re not talking about substituting the principle ingredient, we’re talking about a peripheral tweak.

If I follow the recipe but add corn syrup have I still got bread?
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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:52 pm

Bread can have ingredients added to it and remain bread.

Not so guacamole.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by BeatRaven » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:59 pm

Walmart has $2.99 half-pints of excellent fresh guac with tons of ascorbic acid in it to keep it green. I'll never bother to make it fresh again.

Up till around the 90's, sour cream was def. included in most guac recipes. Since Troll Handle lives in a culinary time warp, she's well within her rights to glop up her guac.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:02 pm

cuchulainn wrote:
Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:52 pm
Bread can have ingredients added to it and remain bread.

Not so guacamole.
Who says?
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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:03 pm

Any Mexican.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:05 pm

Right. So if an Italian says pizza with pineapple isn’t pizza, that’s definitive?
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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:09 pm

Yes

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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:12 pm


Everybody Except You Makes These Guacamole Common Mistakes
An authentic guacamole recipe is a rare thing indeed. Nail it with these tips—and by avoiding these common mistakes.
JULY 13, 2016
BY ROCHELLE BILOW

Look, we know you all have a lot of feelings about guacamole. Like politics and religion, it's a sensitive subject that's best approached with tact (or better yet, not at all. Definitely never on a first date). But whether or not you put peas in your guac, there are a few non-negotiable rules to this Mexican staple. Here are the most common things people screw up when making it, according to senior food editor (and guacamole Jedi master) Rick Martinez.
1. Using Under-, Over- or Not-Uniformly Ripe Avocados
In a perfect world, we would all be blessed with perfectly ripe avocados whenever the urge to make a batch of guac strikes. But life's not like that, so Martinez advises planning ahead: Most grocery stores sell under-ripe avocados; buy them a couple of days in advance and let them ripen on the countertop. They've reached optimal ripeness when they have a little give, but aren't soft or mushy. In a pinch, Martinez has made guac with under-ripe avocadoes ("Just mash the sh*t out of them"), but that's, of course, not ideal. Additionally, never combine avocados with different levels of ripeness. The textures won't meld together, leaving you with hard little icebergs of avocado floating in a sea of mushy guac. You can do better than that.

2. Not Using Hass Avocados
When it comes to the lusciously creamy texture we associate with guacamole, there can only be one variety: Hass, the king of all avocados. Hass avocados have a richer and more concentrated flavor than other varieties, like the larger—but more watery—Florida avocado. Luckily, the options most commonly available in grocery stores are Hass. They're smaller with dark green, pebbled skin.

taqueria-guacamole
CHRISTOPHER TESTANI
No tell-tale brown spots here. Photo: Christopher Testani

3. Not Cutting Out the Blemishes
A bruise or brown and mushy spot on your avocado isn't a deal-breaker (unlike mold on bread, it won't contaminate the whole thing). However, it will turn the rest of your guacamole "dirty swamp green," according to Martinez. Ensure your guac stays brilliantly verdant by spending an extra 30 seconds cutting out the blemished spots.

4. Busting Out the Food Processor
Don't bother with the food processor. Why dirty more things when it's much easier to mash the guacamole by hand? Besides, a food processor will turn your guacamole into a purée. While not everyone loves a super chunky guac, it shouldn't have the consistency of baby food. Just mix it in a bowl or better yet, a Mexican mortar and pestle known as a molcajéte.
5. Going Wimpy on the Salt
You really need to go big and be aggressive when it comes to seasoning guacamole. This means adding more salt than you think you need. Martinez uses about one teaspoon of kosher salt for three avocados. The pro tip here is to wait five minutes after seasoning before tasting—this gives the flavors time to meld together. Only then can you really discern whether you need to add more or adjust the levels.
Roti taco with black cod, dried peach, and smoked guacamole
PHOTO BY MICHAEL GRAYDON + NIKOLE HERRIOTT
Your tacos and tortillas are counting on you. Photo: Michael Graydon + Nikole Herriott

6. Skipping (or Substituting) the Lime
All guacamole needs acid—otherwise it's too fatty and rich. Martinez uses about one to two tablespoons of lime juice for three avos. It will also help keep the guac bright green. Just don't substitute lemon—"that takes things in an 'avocado toast' direction," Martinez explains. If you really want to earn authenticity points, seek out key limes. (That said, the more commonly-found Persian limes are just fine.)
7. Mixing in Other Stuff (Tomatoes Are Okay. Maybe.)
Okay, ignoring the dubious fact that we have a recipe for celery guacamole on our website, we're taking a stance here: No add-ins! No mix-ins! No friggin' peas! The only exception here is tomato, which Martinez explains is sometimes added to stretch a batch, add acidity, and avoid having to make a batch of pico de gallo along with the guac. Hey, if it worked for Martinez's mom, it works for us.
https://www.bonappetit.com/test-kitchen ... n-mistakes

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Re: Guacamole

Post by VinnyD » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:13 pm

We’re not talking about substituting the principle ingredient, we’re talking about a peripheral tweak.
Only if it is unarguable that adding sour cream to guacamole is a peripheral tweak.

And whether that is the case or not is in fact what we are talking about.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by VinnyD » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:15 pm

Up till around the 90's, sour cream was def. included in most guac recipes.
I have lived long and seen much, but until today I had never seen a guacamole recipe that indluded sour cream.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by BeatRaven » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:34 pm

With that in mind, I just looked at my old Playboy cookbook, and they go half and half, sour cream and avocado.

Sour cream was a real thing back in the day, they were always dolloping half a cup on some meat stew-like thing like beef bourgeon. I remember being served a monkey dish of sour cream with indian food in the village.

The idea that a party dip has to be authentic is a very recent conceit.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by VinnyD » Fri Sep 21, 2018 1:55 pm

You are trying to spell beef bourguignon, but maybe you are thinking of beef stroganoff, which has sur cream in it, and (like boeuf bourguignon) beef, mushrooms, and onions. Cooked quickly, though.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by BeatRaven » Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:14 pm

Yeah, beef stroganoff. Thankfully not seen on any menu in a few decades.

Old style German/Eastern European food used to be very much more in the mainstream. Hence the sour cream overload.

Old cookbooks likewise have everything doused in cooking sherry too. I was watching an ep. of Playboy After Dark and some tuxedo'd guest shows up with a vast chafing dish of swedish meatballs (also fortunately in remission) and Hef declares that they need a dash of sherry and sends Barbie Benton off to attend to it. Sherry, like sour cream, was a luxury and sophistication signifier for the middle class.

I didn't have non-sour cream guac until at least the mid-90's.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by DCComic » Sat Sep 22, 2018 4:00 am

Outside historically authentic Vinny-land a cold paste of avacados is guacamole. People don’t ask for an ingredients list before they commit themselves to ‘pass tne guacamole’. Language is a useful thing for communicating more than how you’re the kind of guy who must have his dips correctly described.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Sat Sep 22, 2018 4:30 am

I currently live in Los Angeles where guacamole is taken seriously.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Troll_Handle » Sat Sep 22, 2018 10:17 am

Actually I most often make guacamole without sour cream. If you want a lot of chilli flakes though, then a small amount of sour cream softens and improves the dip, so I'll add it then and it's good. Unless serving sour cream separately of course, then it's not needed. The high levels of salt and ascorbic acid in shop-bought are vile and they miss out good chipotle flakes, thereby making a crap guac.

I've had great guacamole in California, but also really crap watery and salty awfulness, there is no universal standard there. Remove your head from your posterior.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by cuchulainn » Sat Sep 22, 2018 12:14 pm

I would never add sour cream to guacamole.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Lost Soul » Sat Sep 22, 2018 6:18 pm

BeatRaven wrote:
Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:59 pm
Walmart has $2.99 half-pints of excellent fresh guac with tons of ascorbic acid in it to keep it green. I'll never bother to make it fresh again.
If you want to avoid the Walmart experience, Costco sells 4-packs as well. You can freeze three and eat them one at a time; it takes well to freezing.
Up till around the 90's, sour cream was def. included in most guac recipes. Since Troll Handle lives in a culinary time warp, she's well within her rights to glop up her guac.
Maybe in London or NYC, but definitely not in Tucson.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by Nines » Sun Sep 23, 2018 1:38 am

Mayonaise is just wrong in guacamole. You want smoothness? Add some salsa.

And that linked article above that tells you to only use lime juice or you ruin the whole thing? Bullshit. Lemon is fine.

I was making killer guacamole long before the mashed avocado on toast fad.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Bastet » Sun Sep 23, 2018 1:48 am

Avo, lime, roast garlic, salt and some chilli. Perfect!

Some people put coriander in it which I don’t think goes at all even though I love coriander.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by Bill Barilko » Sun Sep 23, 2018 2:57 am

Nines wrote:
Sun Sep 23, 2018 1:38 am
And that linked article above that tells you to only use lime juice or you ruin the whole thing? Bullshit. Lemon is fine.
When Lime prices skyrocketed a few years back I was using Lemon with outstanding results-maybe a touch of Honey depending on the mood then I might add Black Pepper as well.
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Re: Guacamole

Post by lolasf » Sun Sep 23, 2018 3:02 am

I agree that lemon is totally fine in place of lime.
Things fall apart, it's scientific.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by leela » Sun Sep 23, 2018 2:18 pm

I like avocado, I love a chunky ever so slightly crushed avocado salad with tomato, coriander and finely chopped spring onion. But I really wished I liked guacamole more than I do. It's mostly pureed and gluey, with all the texture gone.
Pass the wine...

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Re: Guacamole

Post by EMG » Sun Sep 23, 2018 3:20 pm

No mayo. No sour cream. No lemon. No chili flakes.

You people are fucking heathens.

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Re: Guacamole

Post by bundes » Sun Sep 23, 2018 3:41 pm

Mine is
Avocado, lime, red onion, salt and pepper

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Re: Guacamole

Post by BeatRaven » Sun Sep 23, 2018 3:46 pm

We do fish sauce instead of salt. And we add a fistful of chopped tomato's in equal proportion with cilantro and onion.

But like I said, given problematic avocado ripening time frames, it's best to buy it off the shelf. It's like making your own fresh squeeze orange juice -why?

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Re: Guacamole

Post by EMG » Sun Sep 23, 2018 3:54 pm

No. No fish sauce either.

Fuck is wrong with you people.

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