England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

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Lincoln
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England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Wed May 23, 2018 9:49 pm

About fcuking time!

Feels like it's been ages but at long last Test cricket returns to where the game was invented.

There's no need for further chat about cheating Australians( is there any other type?)

It's time for red ball cricket at the home of cricket...Lord's.


Which way do you see this one going?

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Wed May 23, 2018 9:54 pm

Ill go first because I'm an expert.

I see a resounding victory for England as a new era is ushered in under Ed Smith as selector in chief.

You heard it here first...England win.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Wed May 23, 2018 10:04 pm

Wasim and Waqar to swing it like fuck.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Wed May 23, 2018 10:05 pm

Hot weather forecast so the toss will be a good one to win.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Thu May 24, 2018 12:14 am

Acknowledge my post, you price

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Thu May 24, 2018 3:48 am

The last great Pakistani tour of the UK, 25 years ago.

I can still see it.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Thu May 24, 2018 6:18 am

They didn't do too badly last time they were here a couple of years ago...

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Thu May 24, 2018 10:11 am

Here's my perdickshun....Cook to get a big score.

You heard it here first and you heard it from the cricket oracle of the Stew.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Thu May 24, 2018 10:16 am

Stoneman....what a cunt! where the hell was his footwork?

Awful batting.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Thu May 24, 2018 11:11 am

Fuck me do they not know how to leave a ball?

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Thu May 24, 2018 11:28 am

Good thing you made a prediction about Cook and not the rest of the team.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by jedgarandclyde » Thu May 24, 2018 11:04 pm

Those Pakistani's must have tampered with the ball, given England's recent grand form against NZ and Australia!!

But seriously, a very well done to Pakistan, there seems to be no middle ground with 'em, who to my mind are either very good, or very bad!!!
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Fri May 25, 2018 6:29 am

England are just too shit for words.

Pakistan were effective last time they were here as they have decent enough English-condition bowlers and this time round they’ve had decent enough warm up games (unlike most touring parties)

Ireland getting g test status will work agai st e gland for years to come as all touring parties will get a good warm up game. Batting in may in Ireland can’t be easy.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Fri May 25, 2018 7:26 am

And what do we think of the selections?

Stoneham shouldn’t be in the team - we all know that.

I can’t see how Root can bat at 3 when his okay is so loose. He’s inevitably out playing sine expansive shot at an inappropriate time - like a number 5 or 6. He needs to totally reappraise his approach in test cricket.

The rest of them are one day sloggers as well
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Fri May 25, 2018 8:45 am

Here's some Pom's prediction for Day 2:

What will happen on day 2. England (Anderson and Broad) will bowl Pakistan out for around 250. Stoneman will make a gritty 50 and keep himself in the team (undeservedly) for the summer because of it.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Fri May 25, 2018 1:56 pm

Passed England at 3 down.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Fri May 25, 2018 3:38 pm

Well, the Pom might not be too far off - 250/5 and 1 retired hurt.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Fri May 25, 2018 4:31 pm

300/5. Good night.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Sat May 26, 2018 12:24 pm

Day 3 lunch. England 37/2, still 142 behind.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Sat May 26, 2018 1:22 pm

I can get this info on the interwebs

You silly little twat

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Sat May 26, 2018 2:47 pm

Aren't we supposed to be having jolly old fellow banter-type chattings old pea?

111/6

Pity it's a pathetic 2-test series.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Sat May 26, 2018 3:12 pm

Why is Flobby just reading us scores?

Is this the worse England team we’ve ever seen?

I’m struggling to think of a comparable era. I know there were long low periods on the 90s and some shambolic performances in the 80s bit when was the last time we had 2 of the top 4 averaging in the 20s. Mark woods bowling average is in the 40s? What are these people doing playing international cricket? Jos Butler has scored one first class 50 in 3 years. Now I’m not saying it was wrong to pick him but it does show how shite the competition for his place is.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: they’re worse than a pub team.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Flobster! » Sat May 26, 2018 3:35 pm

Umm, it's Ramadan. Those of you with TVs, are the Pakistanis drinking at drinks breaks? Presumably they aren't eating at lunch and tea.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Sat May 26, 2018 3:59 pm

Bit of a fight back prhaps?...bess and Bitler partnership of 46...you never know.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by Lincoln » Sat May 26, 2018 6:01 pm

How fcuking greatwas that day of cricket?....just shows why Test Cricket is the purest and most bodacious form of the game.

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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Sat May 26, 2018 6:56 pm

Sack Trevor Baylis (what does this cunt even do?) and sack Root (clearly justifying his yorkshire nickname: craptain)

Make Butler captain.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by jedgarandclyde » Mon May 28, 2018 12:30 am

But i do wonder what Pakistani side they will be playing in the 2nd test, the the good one or the bad one?
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Mon May 28, 2018 5:58 pm

I hope Pakistan win - they deserve it.
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Re: England vs Pakistan 1st Test Officel thread.

Post by shunter » Thu May 31, 2018 9:32 pm

What about the 2nd test?

This could be the end for: Baylis, Broad, Malan, Wood.
1988: "We have a climate in Britain in which business wants to succeed and can succeed." Margaret Thatcher, speech to launch the European Single Market

2018: "Fuck business." Boris Johnson

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