"Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

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Lincoln
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"Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:11 pm

Can't help but notice that there are few posters on here that seem to have an opinion on almost every country/destination and yet have never actually been there!

Who are the worst offenders and more importantly...why do they do it?

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:15 pm

Sorry to say but it tends to be our North American cousins and the worst offenders are;

1) Polardude...the King

2) Bill Bariko..."let me tell you about somewhere i've never been to"

3) Moe..."Let me slag you off about going someplace that i haven't actually been to but i'm an expert"

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Cyllarus » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:03 pm

Is that Stephen D's banana you are wearing?

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by polardude1 » Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:52 pm

Oh my. tell us all about Hondures
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by BeatRaven » Sat Mar 11, 2017 2:18 am

I aint never been to Spain.

But I kinda like the music.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:13 am

polardude1 wrote:Oh my. tell us all about Hondures


Perhaps you could start by actually spelling the name of the country correctly,more evidence that you're talking about a place you haven't been to Polar?

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by polardude1 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 11:44 am

Tell us all about your Spliff fogged adventures in Honduras.


This was an impressive report:
Central American weed report...so far.
Postby Lincoln » Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:18 am

I'm about halfway through our 3 month trip arond Central America and i think this branch could use a weedupdate;

Belize...easy to score and ok-ish gear,i scored on Caye Caulker and paid over the odds to a beligerant old rasta guy.

Guatemala....easy-ish to score,i got offered nothing up north but was offered everywhere in Antigua but eventually got some in Atitlan (Santiago)...quality very nice,mellow but a little trippy too...paid over the odds again but i'd rather the dealer gets a good deal from me and not the cops.

El Salvador.....i failed!...fcuking failed misserably,to be fair i wasnt that fussed but it was available in El Tunco,i followed a tip from a French dude as to where to score.....it turned out to be bollox....lesson here?....don't trust the French.

Honduras....Easy ,really easy,i'm on Roatan and its a great place,its really growing on me,helped of course by my new mate and favourite Central American dealer...Henry.Did not pay over the odds ,i got fcuking loads,more than i could smoke in a month but it was cheap.Quality is the best so far...it's really trippy,i am off my head as i write....good times!

We'll be heading into Nicaragua soon and i'll report back from there.


Honduras ha been jackpot mate,i paid $20 and got a fine amount,




Thankyou Cahuita :lol: Very easy place to score...you get offered every 20 meters here.Quality is probably the worst so far in CA but who cares?....i'm still nicely stoned.I paid $30 for a bag that'll keep me going for 5 days.


I liked Cahuita and its Jamaican vibe. There was a food festival when I arrived, I walked the length of the beautiful Mangrove park just south of town. I had no interest in getting stoned . Did I miss a cultural experience?


Great report, though.
DCComic "3000 dead Americans is slightly less than fuck all",

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by dBrother » Sat Mar 11, 2017 2:26 pm

polardude1 wrote:Tell us all about your Spliff fogged adventures in Honduras.


This was an impressive report:
Central American weed report...so far.
Postby Lincoln » Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:18 am

I'm about halfway through our 3 month trip arond Central America and i think this branch could use a weedupdate;

Belize...easy to score and ok-ish gear,i scored on Caye Caulker and paid over the odds to a beligerant old rasta guy.

Guatemala....easy-ish to score,i got offered nothing up north but was offered everywhere in Antigua but eventually got some in Atitlan (Santiago)...quality very nice,mellow but a little trippy too...paid over the odds again but i'd rather the dealer gets a good deal from me and not the cops.

El Salvador.....i failed!...fcuking failed misserably,to be fair i wasnt that fussed but it was available in El Tunco,i followed a tip from a French dude as to where to score.....it turned out to be bollox....lesson here?....don't trust the French.

Honduras....Easy ,really easy,i'm on Roatan and its a great place,its really growing on me,helped of course by my new mate and favourite Central American dealer...Henry.Did not pay over the odds ,i got fcuking loads,more than i could smoke in a month but it was cheap.Quality is the best so far...it's really trippy,i am off my head as i write....good times!

We'll be heading into Nicaragua soon and i'll report back from there.


Honduras ha been jackpot mate,i paid $20 and got a fine amount,




Thankyou Cahuita :lol: Very easy place to score...you get offered every 20 meters here.Quality is probably the worst so far in CA but who cares?....i'm still nicely stoned.I paid $30 for a bag that'll keep me going for 5 days.


I liked Cahuita and its Jamaican vibe. There was a food festival when I arrived, I walked the length of the beautiful Mangrove park just south of town. I had no interest in getting stoned . Did I miss a cultural experience?


Great report, though.


X2 genuinely great trip report
.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Sat Mar 11, 2017 3:41 pm

polardude1 wrote:Tell us all about your Spliff fogged adventures in Honduras.


This was an impressive report:
Central American weed report...so far.
Postby Lincoln » Tue Feb 11, 2014 1:18 am

I'm about halfway through our 3 month trip arond Central America and i think this branch could use a weedupdate;

Belize...easy to score and ok-ish gear,i scored on Caye Caulker and paid over the odds to a beligerant old rasta guy.

Guatemala....easy-ish to score,i got offered nothing up north but was offered everywhere in Antigua but eventually got some in Atitlan (Santiago)...quality very nice,mellow but a little trippy too...paid over the odds again but i'd rather the dealer gets a good deal from me and not the cops.

El Salvador.....i failed!...fcuking failed misserably,to be fair i wasnt that fussed but it was available in El Tunco,i followed a tip from a French dude as to where to score.....it turned out to be bollox....lesson here?....don't trust the French.

Honduras....Easy ,really easy,i'm on Roatan and its a great place,its really growing on me,helped of course by my new mate and favourite Central American dealer...Henry.Did not pay over the odds ,i got fcuking loads,more than i could smoke in a month but it was cheap.Quality is the best so far...it's really trippy,i am off my head as i write....good times!

We'll be heading into Nicaragua soon and i'll report back from there.


Honduras ha been jackpot mate,i paid $20 and got a fine amount,




Thankyou Cahuita :lol: Very easy place to score...you get offered every 20 meters here.Quality is probably the worst so far in CA but who cares?....i'm still nicely stoned.I paid $30 for a bag that'll keep me going for 5 days.


I liked Cahuita and its Jamaican vibe. There was a food festival when I arrived, I walked the length of the beautiful Mangrove park just south of town. I had no interest in getting stoned . Did I miss a cultural experience?


Great report, though.


Dude,are you trying to switch the conversation to Costa Rica now?

If you remember we were talking about Honduras, just help us all out here Polar....have you or have you not been to Honduras?

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by polardude1 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 6:49 pm

I was just commenting on your trip report. You shod contact Lonely Planet, Foders or Rough Guide and see about writing a guide book, "Scoring Dope in Central America".
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:21 pm

Is that your way of saying "er,actually,to be perfectly honest,like,truthfully and that...i ain't actually been there mate" ? :lol:

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by mad hatter » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:35 pm

bully
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:40 pm

No guilt here Hatter,this dude haranged me all around CA when i was there just because i dared to smoke the local herb....bit of a stiff if you ask me.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by polardude1 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:50 pm

Here's the thing, Lincoln, I was seriously considering doing oa trip to Honduras in 2011. I was not going to include a all inclusive resort in Roatan. It was going to focus on the Mosquito coast and Coban. But I decided the trip was a bit risky
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:05 pm

ok fair dos's Polar ..thats honest of you mate

Just watching a programme on tv about the the western Scottish isles...i wouldn't have even thought about visiting this place had it not been for your trip report on that area,so you're not all bad.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by The Mallard Missie » Sun Mar 12, 2017 7:22 am

Everything I ever learnt about this country came from this seminal work:

Image

and what a pile of steaming hot, elephant dung that most verily was.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by cummy » Sun Mar 12, 2017 2:51 pm

The Mallard Missie wrote:Everything I ever learnt about this country came from this seminal work:

everything i ever learned came from a seminal vesicle.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by The Mallard Missie » Sun Mar 12, 2017 3:50 pm

cummy wrote:
The Mallard Missie wrote:Everything I ever learnt about this country came from this seminal work:

everything i ever learned came from a seminal vesicle.


Are you referring, perchance, to freshly squeezed, steaming hot elephant juice?
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Moethebartender » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:31 pm

Future Star of Locked Up Abroad wrote:3) Moe..."Let me slag you off about going someplace that i haven't actually been to but i'm an expert"

Did I Miss someone?


You're whinging about me on two different threads on two different branches because I pointed out that there's basically sweet fuck all to do on Roatan for non-divers and because I pointed out that Tegucigalpa and San Pedro Sula are not the safest cities? You enormous assclown. Hate to break it to you fuckwit, but I have been there.

You spend your vacations utterly stoned out of your mind and oblivious to your surroundings anyway. Aside from offering tips on how to get ripped off while buying mota in third world cities, you really don't have any business offering advice to anyone - particularly not on how to travel safely with kids.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by mad hatter » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:38 pm

AngryMcAngryFace!
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Post by Moethebartender » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:41 pm

Thank you for your valuable contribution, Mad Humper. You may now resume humping Filex's leg, I don't want him to think I'm trying to steal you away.
Korky wrote:i remember being on Samothraki island is 2003 and apologizing for being an American under Bush II.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by mad hatter » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:14 pm

leave my ankle alone.
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:34 pm

Moethebartender wrote:
Future Star of Locked Up Abroad wrote:3) Moe..."Let me slag you off about going someplace that i haven't actually been to but i'm an expert"

Did I Miss someone?


You're whinging about me on two different threads on two different branches because I pointed out that there's basically sweet fuck all to do on Roatan for non-divers and because I pointed out that Tegucigalpa and San Pedro Sula are not the safest cities? You enormous assclown. Hate to break it to you fuckwit, but I have been there.

You spend your vacations utterly stoned out of your mind and oblivious to your surroundings anyway. Aside from offering tips on how to get ripped off while buying mota in third world cities, you really don't have any business offering advice to anyone - particularly not on how to travel safely with kids.


And yet my kid is perfectly safe Moe after all this travel in these dangerous countries...you are a typical fear-filled yank.....scared shitless to go anywhere that doesn't have a starbucks.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by cummy » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:03 am

The Mallard Missie wrote:Are you referring, perchance, to freshly squeezed, steaming hot elephant juice?

why, yes, my dear!

have you noticed there is a vas deferens between freshly squeezed, steaming hot elephant juice and just plain old elephant juice? :o :lol: :lol:

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Post by mad hatter » Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:19 am

snort snort!
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by The Mallard Missie » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:14 am

cummy wrote:
The Mallard Missie wrote:Are you referring, perchance, to freshly squeezed, steaming hot elephant juice?

why, yes, my dear!

have you noticed there is a vas deferens between freshly squeezed, steaming hot elephant juice and just plain old elephant juice? :o :lol: :lol:


Does it not depend on the vintage? I believe '69 was a very good year.
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Post by Moethebartender » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:00 pm

Bonger wrote:And yet my kid is perfectly safe Moe after all this travel in these dangerous countries...you are a typical fear-filled yank.....scared shitless to go anywhere that doesn't have a starbucks.


Scared shitless? Where did I mention being scared you doped up mental case? As I've already pointed out numerous times, I have actually been there. Based on your comments about the many fascinating things one can find on Roatan, I'm starting to suspect you've never made it out of Blighty, let alone have you been to Honduras.
Korky wrote:i remember being on Samothraki island is 2003 and apologizing for being an American under Bush II.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:23 pm

Soggy biscuit!

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:28 pm

Moethebartender wrote:
Bonger wrote:And yet my kid is perfectly safe Moe after all this travel in these dangerous countries...you are a typical fear-filled yank.....scared shitless to go anywhere that doesn't have a starbucks.


Scared shitless? Where did I mention being scared you doped up mental case? As I've already pointed out numerous times, I have actually been there. Based on your comments about the many fascinating things one can find on Roatan, I'm starting to suspect you've never made it out of Blighty, let alone have you been to Honduras.



I'll take the Pepsi challenge with you any day when it comes to travelling you miserable old cunt,my kid is only 13 and he's better traveled than you.

If you think the only thing to do on an island in Caribbean is to go scuba diving then one wonders why you bother to go travelling Moe....and as for Tegus,we had such a great time there,your travels must truly suck if you can't enjoy a capital city.

Sucks to be you old man.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Moethebartender » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:58 pm

You're such a fuckwit Bonger. You know nothing about the places you've supposedly been to, don't speak a word of any the languages of the places you allegedly travel to and certainly don't understand the culture.

There's lots of things to see and do on plenty of islands in the Caribbean. The particular one that we are discussing doesn't have much on offer in the way of sights at this point. It's an over touristed upmarket backpacker/carnival cruise destination with cheap diving certification and not a whole lot else going for it. Then again, when you're stoned out of your mind, cheapish backpacker bars and amerikkkanised food is probably about all you need aside from the sandflies.

On the subject of wonderful Centeral Amerikkkan capital cities, how much did you enjoy Guatemala City?
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by mad hatter » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:17 am

fight!!!!
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Post by Moethebartender » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:20 am

Leghump... Sad.
Korky wrote:i remember being on Samothraki island is 2003 and apologizing for being an American under Bush II.
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Post by Lincoln » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:22 am

Oh dear,it appears i'm getting to you old man...don't let it upset you that you've hardly been anywhere on this planet.....most yanks don't even own a passport so you're one-up on most of your compatriots....well done you!

I speak fluent French and manageable Thai by the way but don't let that ruin your narrative.

Where are you off to this year Moe?...are you pushing the boat out and visiting another one of your fascinating States?...i hear Florida is nice for old folks.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Moethebartender » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:26 pm

Fluent French? You barely speak English. In any case, I'm sure that speaking French and Thai came in very handy throughout your alleged travels in Central Amerikkka, you drooling moron.
Korky wrote:i remember being on Samothraki island is 2003 and apologizing for being an American under Bush II.
Seamus wrote:I flounced from certain aspects of the Stew.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by eric84 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:26 pm

I propose that we put Lincoln and Moe on a remote island with no Wifi for a year to determine who is the better traveller.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Stephen_Dedalus » Thu Mar 16, 2017 1:03 am

Mope was on the rope.

Lincoln is married to a hairy arm pitted french bird.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by strife » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:14 am

Lincoln wrote:I speak fluent French and manageable Thai by the way but don't let that ruin your narrative.

Sure you do.
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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by Lincoln » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:02 am

strife wrote:
Lincoln wrote:I speak fluent French and manageable Thai by the way but don't let that ruin your narrative.

Sure you do.



Why would I lie?...just to score a point off a miserable old goat like Moe?....that would be weird,a bit like having multi-handles and pretending to be someone else...there's a few weirdos on here like that aren't there Felix/superfelix/strife/etc/etc.

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by mad hatter » Thu Mar 16, 2017 9:20 am

good point lincoln
Nines to Felix: "I know a lot of really successful lawyers. My oldest son is a full partner in a prestigious law firm. I know the gig. None of them have the time nor inclination to post the never-ending drivel like you've done for decades here"

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Re: "Never actually been there but i'm an expert"..offenders

Post by The Mallard Missie » Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:35 pm

Zillion Handles holds the world record for the number of handles on one forum.
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