What books would you write or like seen written by PSers?

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Potpie » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:32 am

Awww looks like i hit a nerve. Poor thing.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by veronica_inheels » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:40 am

Shavenhead wrote:"A collection of hen-pecked exes" by Northern Goddess

"Co-habiting with camels - an Australian abroad" by Andybox

"Veronica does Vancouver"


hey! i "did" less men in my life that you did women in one year. my middle name should be Chastity really...
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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by erkat » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:52 am

How to camp - by Guruwil
How to be camp - by Cummy
Throwing Pots - by Undertree
Going to Pot - by Lincoln

And his and hers matching coffee table books by Chi Rup and Jessica Fletcher:
Does my dick look big in this?
Does my arse look big in this?

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Jelly_Belly » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:09 am

Flobster wrote:Always Look on the Bright Side!
by Dr Jelly
32 pp

What, me worry? Dr Jelly, leading psychologist, explains how the modern world tempts us to see the worst in people and events, and how this makes us miserable. Dr Jelly's lifelong mission is to help us shed our fear, suspicion and downright psychotic mistrust of everything outside our basement-sized comfort zone. Includes five easy exercises to take you out of the shadows!

1. Are politicians malaevolent demons? No!
2. Are agnostics malaevolent demons? No!
3. Are liberals malaevolent demons? No!
4. Are foreigners malaevolent demons? No!
5. Is everything going to hell? No!

Plus a bonus section on selecting the right third-word prostitute to bring home!



Thank you. That is a nice tribute.
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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Lost Soul » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:12 am

Australia, a Love Story, by misanthrope.

All About Abby, by avalon.

The Lonely Planet Guide to Clapham Common, by the Duck.

Real Estate Valuations On Islands, by cogito and Patrick.

Nerdville!, by CSM.

Modding 101, by Ereich.

Diplomacy for Dummies, by Lost Soul.

We Love America, Really!, by Saffer, chimes and flobster.

How to Live in NYC on $5 a Day, by BulletPark.

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by American Joe.

All About Frisco! by wilster.

Jerry Kuntz, a Biography, by grecian.

Dean Koontz, a Biography, by grecian.

The Power of Brevity, by the Smoker.

Pedantry, a Case Study, by Vinny D

How to Crush Your Opponent's Will To Live With 50,000 Words of Linked Arguments, by shiny shoes.

Dogs Are People Too!, by leelee.

Forrest Gump, Cabs and the Law, by q5q.

How to be a Lady in Church, by various.

How to Raise Tibetan Gypsy Children In Greece While Digesting Disaster Porn, by chimes.

Circumcision, Yea or Nay?, by pez.

Typing: A Tutorial, by polardude.
IMPRISON BUSH!

INDICT HILLARY!

"Lost Soul is largely correct"- VinnyD

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by cummy » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:25 am

I'm Coming Out! - by defenestrator

followed by:

I Came Out: The Joy Of Gay Sex - by defenestrator

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by andybox » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:28 am

I don't want to go to work today-By everyone.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by lolasf » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:36 am

Well done, Lost Soul.
Things fall apart, it's scientific.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by northern_goddess » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:39 am

lolasf wrote:Well done, Lost Soul.

Agreed.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Fred Garvin » Sun Oct 20, 2013 4:48 am

How to be invisible on internet message boards - Fred Garvin
americanjoe needs to stop eating fortune cookies - tph24601

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by purplegemini » Sun Oct 20, 2013 6:11 am

What a great thread! I am actually laughing out loud here.
Blah blah blah

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Flobster » Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:10 am

jamesconnolly wrote:Me, Myself and I
- Felix


The Night Has A Thousand Is - Felix
The world ended on 21 December 2012.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by ZAffer » Sun Oct 20, 2013 7:38 am

This. Thread. Is. Gold. Cc to 'famous dishes'.
sce to aux

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Flobster » Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:00 am

Virgin Accountant
by James Connolly

480 pp, inc 6 appendices and actuarial tables

Earthy accountant to the stars, at home in the moneyed hush of the City and on the teeming mean streets, James has all the trappings of worldly success. But what dark secrets are in his past? Why do some call him 'the man of a thousand flounces'? What dark secrets are in his pants? Why do some call him 'Coke can dick'? Will he ever find a suitable opening?

I'd do him - Vron
The world ended on 21 December 2012.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Paddox1 » Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:07 am

Divorce: putting your children first :lol: by f4j
Love, Life and Latex: Dollen (comes with free wipes and a puncture repair kit) by Dieter
Tony and Maureen - the definitive biography by The Duck

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jamesconnolly » Sun Oct 20, 2013 8:17 am

Frank Flobster

Australia and me in the 21st century
How I manage to stay sane in a country with dBrothers and Bondis
(but please, no more euro trash or Lebos, mate)

Is Australia a Republic? Yes or No
The art of turning a short response into a Megathread, and still being none the wiser.

Sports supplement:
The Ashes - remember when we were good?
No, well brace yourself, mate. The POMs are coming!
“During moments of strife and 'dis-ease', check your flow and redirect your focus to that which is naturally good.”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by -americanjoe- » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:42 am

"Even YOU can talk to the natives! Bumbling into cultures around the world using nothing but a US passport, a pathological need to destroy beauty, and 100 bucks in your pocket by American Joe"

Oddly enough, this isn't too bad of a description of some of my experiences.
But not the destruction of beauty part.

And I'll have you know I'm known for being quite generous with the natives.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Fred Garvin » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:14 am

Scuba Steve wrote:CRAZY!!!11!!!111!

By Chimes



DAFT SEPPO KUNTS!!!!!! - grecian
americanjoe needs to stop eating fortune cookies - tph24601

Bachelor # 1 looks like he knows how to do laundry, and wipes his ass properly. - Chip_Oatley

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:41 am

Will You Buy This Book? - cuchulainn

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Bondi » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:45 am

jamesconnolly wrote:Frank Flobster

Australia and me in the 21st century
How I manage to stay sane in a country with dBrothers and Bondis
(but please, no more euro trash or Lebos, mate)

Is Australia a Republic? Yes or No
The art of turning a short response into a Megathread, and still being none the wiser.

Sports supplement:
The Ashes - remember when we were good?
No, well brace yourself, mate. The POMs are coming!


Is that the best you can do after flobby just ridiculed you?
Minare ista pueris

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by leela » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:46 am

Flobster wrote:Virgin Accountant
by James Connolly

480 pp, inc 6 appendices and actuarial tables

Earthy accountant to the stars, at home in the moneyed hush of the City and on the teeming mean streets, James has all the trappings of worldly success. But what dark secrets are in his past? Why do some call him 'the man of a thousand flounces'? What dark secrets are in his pants? Why do some call him 'Coke can dick'? Will he ever find a suitable opening?

I'd do him - Vron

Every one of your contributions to this thread made me LOL. Good work, flobs.
Pass the wine...

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jamesconnolly » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:47 am

I really don't know how you cope Frank
“During moments of strife and 'dis-ease', check your flow and redirect your focus to that which is naturally good.”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Flobster » Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:07 pm

I do my best. That's all a man can do.
The world ended on 21 December 2012.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by dBrother » Sun Oct 20, 2013 12:15 pm

at least i finally got a fucken mention..

anyhow

how the liberals destroyed the country - Lost Soul

how the liberals destroyed the country - Stringer Bell

A brief history of the Palestinian Territories
-very brief


by queenrania
.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by StanDeMan » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:44 pm

Fish porn for the Elite...DaniDisco
How to post non-stop for 30 hours a day on meth.......Dr.Evil
Screen stretching software from Burma to infinity and beyond- at the speed of light......The Duck
(A scientific article on how to screw up someone's weekend)
The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:48 pm

How Stella Turned Me Into a Churchlady by Scott Baio.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Scuba Steve » Sun Oct 20, 2013 2:06 pm

Paddox1 wrote:Love, Life and Latex: Dollen (comes with free wipes and a puncture repair kit) by Dieter


Hey! I'm pretty sure I was the author of that series.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by shilgia » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:27 pm

You tell them! A guide to setting your neighbors straight with minimal equipment, by Homerj.

Bang Serbia, by Defenestrator, in collaboration with Roosh V.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Paddox1 » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:30 pm

Scuba Steve wrote:
Paddox1 wrote:Love, Life and Latex: Dollen (comes with free wipes and a puncture repair kit) by Dieter


Hey! I'm pretty sure I was the author of that series.


Ha, your dollen posts were pure genius.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by NorthAmerican » Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:31 pm

andybox wrote:I don't want to go to work today-By everyone.
Retired now, I'll read that book for its nostalgia value.
I enjoy reading NorthAmerican's posts. So well-written and interesting except for the dull parts.--Nines

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by lolasf » Mon Oct 21, 2013 1:26 am

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:How Stella Turned Me Into a Churchlady by Scott Baio.


Ha!
Things fall apart, it's scientific.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by The Mallard Missie » Mon Oct 21, 2013 6:50 am

"Gordon Ramsay's 50 Horniest Recipes for Freshly Squeezed, Steaming Hot Elephant Juice" by Jim Naff, MD, Elephantologist Emeritus
The Duck Delusion

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jono_in_adelaide » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:01 am

By Iolar - 10 Irish inventions that changed the world
Si vis pacem, para bellum

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Bondi » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:46 am

The Australian Economic Apocalypse, by Misanthrope, editions one to ten.
Minare ista pueris

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jono_in_adelaide » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:05 am

Tomorrow is another country - memoires of the last white man in Sef Efica - Zaffer


The Rota Rooter as a sexual aid - Bondi


A Laymans Guide to Building Your Dream Home - Zaffer


The Joy of Six - Fishface and any other Kiwi Posters


Valley of the Dolls - Me
Si vis pacem, para bellum

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jamesconnolly » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:16 am

Irish and Dutch corporation tax rates
Bondi
(corrections made by IolaR)
“During moments of strife and 'dis-ease', check your flow and redirect your focus to that which is naturally good.”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jamesconnolly » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:21 am

Everybody Loves Lincoln
The life and times of our favourite sit com character
- including the favourite episodes as chosen viewers: OP is a wanker and what is the fucking point in poetry?
- including DVD extras: how to roll the perfect Camberwell Carrot
“During moments of strife and 'dis-ease', check your flow and redirect your focus to that which is naturally good.”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Bondi » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:26 am

jamesconnolly wrote:Irish and Dutch corporation tax rates
Bondi
(corrections made by IolaR)


Sucking Irish Cock by James Collonolly.
Minare ista pueris

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by The_Macedonian » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:49 pm

Why Stephen Harper's the one
The right leadership for Canada in uncertain times

by Snowgirl.

An intimate memoir of a Toronto social worker's steady progression from left wing activism, to neutrality, and finally to a profound wide-eyed epiphany where she becomes not simply a committed functionary of the Canadian Conservative Party, but ultimately the secret lover of its leader, this book is an inspiration for all Canadians. Not simply a detailed and intimate expose of one of Canada's most impressive politicians, Snowgirl's book is an inspiring tale of how of a beautiful but naïf Canadian woman came to political maturity and personal fulfilment in the arms of Canada's leader.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Godjira » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:54 pm

Why Personal Hygiene is Unimportant - Blondi
That's the kind of bold flavor they enjoy in Albuquerque!

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jamesconnolly » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:02 pm

Chi Rup
Alpha Male
you got something to say about that pal?
how to survive as a liberal scot in this day and age
a search for self discovery
mincey arty
or big cock gigolo
“During moments of strife and 'dis-ease', check your flow and redirect your focus to that which is naturally good.”

“May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch”

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Scrubb » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:29 pm

The_Macedonian wrote:Why Stephen Harper's the one
The right leadership for Canada in uncertain times

by Snowgirl.

An intimate memoir of a Toronto social worker's steady progression from left wing activism, to neutrality, and finally to a profound wide-eyed epiphany where she becomes not simply a committed functionary of the Canadian Conservative Party, but ultimately the secret lover of its leader, this book is an inspiration for all Canadians. Not simply a detailed and intimate expose of one of Canada's most impressive politicians, Snowgirl's book is an inspiring tale of how of a beautiful but naïf Canadian woman came to political maturity and personal fulfilment in the arms of Canada's leader.

ha ha ha ha gag ha ha ha gag ha ha ha gag ha ha ha gag
Boinkity_Boink isn't much of an idiot

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by snowgirl » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:35 pm

OK, this thread has officially jumped the shark.
Our problem is civil obedience. -Howard Zinn

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by northern_goddess » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:23 am

Hahaha!
I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by jono_in_adelaide » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:32 am

Love in a cold climate - any of our Canadian posters
Si vis pacem, para bellum

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by avalon_ » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:36 am

Did anyone write a book on graveshitting?

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by The_Macedonian » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:02 am

jono_in_adelaide wrote:Love in a cold climate - any of our Canadian posters


You've inspired me Jono, here goes.

The Christmas Invitation

A mystery novel,

by Northern Goddess.

NG is a professional and highly regarded consultant, sophisticated and intelligent, and she's never had a problem with working out what men want. But when she gets a invitation from an occasional lover to spend Christmas day and night at his pad, she is completely and utterly floored. What could he possibly want with her ? What's his motivation for the invitation ? What does he mean by it ? What's the significance of including her dog in the invitation ?
A gripping and challenging read, The Christmas Invitation will have you thinking hard with your heart in your mouth, guessing what NG's loverboy's invitation could possibly mean, right until the last thrilling page.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Scrubb » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:22 am

"The Error of my Ways" by homerj

The heartening story of homerj, a life-long capitalist who values nothing more than a high income and low taxes, when he finally realizes that compassion for his fellow man, and allowing everyone simple dignity, are the ultimate symbols of success.
Boinkity_Boink isn't much of an idiot

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Flobster » Tue Oct 22, 2013 3:57 am

The Voice of Authority

by Scrubb

It's crunch time in the Arctic waste. Who gets on the flight home and who misses out? On one set of Saskatchewan shoulders rests this crucial decision. And who better? Trained from birth in the harsh realities of ice and snow, this chapter in the Life of Scrubb exemplifies her toughness and tact, her willingless to say "To heck with it!" to the rule book when split seconds count.
The world ended on 21 December 2012.

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Re: What books would you write or like seen written by PSers

Post by Annotated » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:05 am

The_Macedonian wrote:The Christmas Invitation

A mystery novel,

by Northern Goddess.

NG is a professional and highly regarded consultant, sophisticated and intelligent, and she's never had a problem with working out what men want. But when she gets a invitation from an occasional lover to spend Christmas day and night at his pad, she is completely and utterly floored. What could he possibly want with her ? What's his motivation for the invitation ? What does he mean by it ? What's the significance of including her dog in the invitation ?
A gripping and challenging read, The Christmas Invitation will have you thinking hard with your heart in your mouth, guessing what NG's loverboy's invitation could possibly mean, right until the last thrilling page.


It would almost appear you write these things for a living -- turning 450 pages of overwrought crap into a paragraph of something that almost sounds like it's not 450 pages of overwrought crap.

SPOILER ALERT! - Nogs doesn't go. She has people to tsk-tsk on the Stew.
This board is my life.

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