When did you turn into one of your parents?

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When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 1:57 pm

And was it a good thing?


I've just recieved the invitation to my father's exhibition opening. I read the text he wrote (what do you call it?) and it was like listening to myself.

When I was a kid, everyone kept asking me if I was going to be an artist too. Later on in grammar school people started assuming I'd end up at the Faculty of Fine Arts, just like my dad. I thought it was weird, because a.)I had no talent whatsoever and b.)I was interested in languages, like my mother. She'd studied English and French.
But maybe they just saw how much my father and I were alike? I started seeing that much, much later. I wanted to be more like my mother, to be honest. She's the rational one.

Anyway. This is the painting he put on the invitation.
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And this is a picture I took on that date last week. I love it, it's one of my favourite photos I'v taken lately. I've posted it on another thread already.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby GLimpet » Wed Oct 11, 2017 2:38 pm

When I started arguing with my teenage sons.

Or , really, they started arguing with me.

THEY STARTED IT!!!!!

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Espina » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:01 pm

Started drinking Arnold Palmers.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby VinnyD » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:03 pm

If I were more like either of my parents I would be a better person.

I think they call that text "the artist's statement".

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Troy Electroid » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:14 pm

I think my dad's generation were way tougher, and more resilient than our soft arse generation. I actually wish I was more like him in many ways.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:24 pm

My parents are good people (let's ignore the issues I had with my father when I was a teen for the time being), but I never thought of them as particularly tough. In fact, they come across as a bit spoiled sometimes. I don't love them any less because of that, obviously.
Last edited by Klara on Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby NorthAmerican » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:34 pm

I have lots of good memories of my father, who died when I was 23, but if I mentioned any of them to lifelong friends they'd interrupt me with "But you never got along with him!"

They were right. Some time after my father's death, my mother told me the reason he and I were at loggerheads so often was that we were exactly alike in one way: we both had to have the last word. And some years after that, we were talking about something when she smiled and said "Your father would have been proud of you."
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby cowtown » Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:49 pm

I’ve always know which bits came from which side so forever. My dad and I had the same sense of humor and were very similar in many ways even if outwardly we appeared completely different. It’s why we were so close; we grounded each other and validated ourselves through a shared lens. When he died so many people told me ‘you are your fathers’ son’ to the point it felt like a generic sentiment of nothingness, something you say to a kid who lost his dad. The following years, I realized that it was pretty specific and not many kids hear that these days. Some of my father’s friends still invite me around as I remind them of him and offer a similar banter, perspective which I gather is unique.

My parents were pretty cool as they were into raising good people. They expected more from us and were strict about certain things but also gave us a ton of freedom and opportunities. I enjoy being my parents, it’s a compliment. My dad is the best person I have ever known
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Annotated » Wed Oct 11, 2017 5:11 pm

Looks like he kinda messed up the colors of the clouds in that picture.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:28 pm

That's a nice tribute to your dad, Cowtown.
Same goes for Vinny.

It all sounds very American to my Slavic ear, of course. But I really appreciate it.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby rezuar » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:32 pm

My husband, when trying to piss me off, says I'm a carbon copy of my mother, but the older I get the more I can see Dad in me. Which isn't necessarily a good thing.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:35 pm

Heh Slavic daughters, eh. We're not the most forgiving species.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby leela » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:35 pm

I'm doing my best not to. A few weeks ago my daughters told me that I was "nothing like granny". Which I was relieved to hear.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby EMG » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:40 pm

I share my dad's love of steak, red wine, and cigars.

That's about it. He's a pretty talented artist and musician. I am not.

I don't think I'm much like my mom.

They're both great people, I just don't think we're all that much alike.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby rezuar » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:41 pm

Klara wrote:Heh Slavic daughters, eh. We're not the most forgiving species.

Exactly.
All the best things about me are...purely mine, of course. Everything bad, I inherited. Heh.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Stan In Maryland » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:47 pm

I had a different parenting discipline style than my parents did. Different times, different child. My dad, who passed away when I was about 26, and I have probably have a pretty similar sense of humor. Other than that I am not the man my father was. He was raised during the depression on a pretty sad farm and went on to get his Ph.D. and have a very successful career in research. As part of being raised on a farm and the depression the man could repair just about anything. I am marginally handy, but nothing like my dad was. I look like my mom's side of the family but I don't know that I have a lot of personality attributes from that side.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby (X) » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:49 pm

One being dead and the other being mostly unknown to me I wouldn t know.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:57 pm

Stan In Maryland wrote:I had a different parenting discipline style than my parents did.

Me too, Stan. I try to be better in some ways, but in other ways I'm quite likely a bit worse.
I have a feeling my parents think I'm a good patent, though.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Stan In Maryland » Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:43 pm

I am sure you are great parent. If the proof is in the pudding either I did ok as a dad, or my likely, my overcame all my bad parenting because thus far my daughter is a person I am proud of and darned good mother.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby temporaryhandle2 » Wed Oct 11, 2017 11:40 pm

I will never turn into my parents. Their chief function in my life has been to serve as a warning.

But I do look like my Mum. And I am gratetul that my father insisted on me going to University.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Scrubb » Wed Oct 11, 2017 11:54 pm

Not yet. I did see myself start to do something my mom does, that annoys me, so I tried very hard to stop myself and I think I succeeded. But overall, she is a better person than I am and I should be trying to emulate her selflessness/committment to helping others.

I look a lot like my dad but we're mostly pretty different people too.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby veronica_inheels » Wed Oct 11, 2017 11:56 pm

I look like mom. Also I behave more like my mom's family. My dad was a quiet man.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Chip_Oatley » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:16 am

I look like both of them.

At some point, my dad stopped being able to smile like a normal person in photos. I have hated that--and then I saw it in me in my last HS reunion photos.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby matt_melb » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:36 am

It's really hard to resist.

When the kids were younger, I would find myself saying 'you can't do X' for no reason except that my parents had said it to me. Sometimes I was able to stop myself.

Now I make exactly the same complaints to my wife about my dad that I remember him making, at about my age, about his dad.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby veronica_inheels » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:47 am

When she turned around 16, "because I said so" became a standard answer. I got tired of explaining the obvious and being bullied. Mildly rebellious and argumentative.

I guess it is part of brain development. But I was prepared, I saw it in my stepdaughter first, who was a great kid,btw. Except couple of years of eye rolling and stupid arguments.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Logg » Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:27 am

When I'm interacting with other drivers in traffic sometimes, I find the gestures I make and things I say are things I noticed my parents doing when they were driving and I was a small child in the back seat.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby dBrother » Thu Oct 12, 2017 6:33 am

Klara wrote:My parents are good people (let's ignore the issues I had with my father when I was a teen for the time being).



no offence or nothin, but have you ever considered that maybe you were really just a bit of a shit of a teen at times??

most teens were at one time or another, maybe you look back upon your teen self with too much rose coloured glasses?

helps me when going back over things to see my own guilt in various past disputes, that i may not have seen at the time..
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:11 am

No. My father hit me when I was a teenager, twice. There's absolutely no excuse for that.
I have a normal relationship with him now and I do love him, but he will always be the guy who hit his daughter.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby sodelicious » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:40 am

Open or closed hand?
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:56 am

Err open? I don't remember. How does that matter?

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby leela » Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:58 am

Closed isn't a hit, it's a punch.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:00 am

Ok sure, but why does that matter?

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby guruwil » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:13 am

As soon as I had kids who could talk I found myself saying things my parents would have said. Having said that in many ways I am very unlike either of my parents, although I look like a much taller version of my Dad.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby leela » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:14 am

My post was for sode, klara. It seemed an odd question.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby strife » Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:41 am

I've always looked like my mom (dark hair/green eyes), behaved like my dad (absurdist sense of humor, outgoing). His siblings note the absurdism every time we see each other now.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Kikilamour » Thu Oct 12, 2017 10:48 am

i'm adopted so i don't look or think like my parents. i think i inherited some anxiety. my mother was depressed for most of my teens onwards. she's not funny or has an odd sense of humour. my dad was quietly funny and mischievous, which i think i picked up. i kind of want to break the rules all the time.

i met my bio mom and dad, but i haven't spent much time with them in the last 20 years so i don't know if i resemble them. i do know that we share a lot of the same interests.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:20 am

My father is tall, dark, and handsome, so I look like my mother. We have a completely different physique, though. She was very, very tiny and then got chubby after she had me and my brother. I've never been either tiny or particularly chubby.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby leela » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:29 am

All the way through my childhood, I was told how much I looked like my dad. But now I've (physically) morphed closer to my maternal grandmother in looks.

My brother doesn't look like anyone in my family. I know he wasn't adopted, but occasionally I do wonder about his heritage.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Troy Electroid » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:50 am

My parents are good people (let's ignore the issues I had with my father when I was a teen for the time being), but I never thought of them as particularly tough. In fact, they come across as a bit spoiled sometimes. I don't love them any less because of that, obviously.


My mother wasn't tough, my dad certainly was. He came from a dirt poor family and brought six out of eight kids up alone.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby dBrother » Thu Oct 12, 2017 12:26 pm

Klara wrote:No. My father hit me when I was a teenager, twice. There's absolutely no excuse for that. ..


probably being just a tad closed minded just there Klara.

So its not like you were a beaten child all throughout your childhood, as many were, and your father was not a habitual child beater, as many are, but a couple of times, well just two, during your teen years, well your entire life, you may have just pushed the boundarys that little bit to far? as many teenagers do..

maybe he was dealing with other stresses at the time , fall of communism?, break up of yugoslavia?, losing his hair?, turning his world upside down, as well as dealing with a rebellious teenager at the same time..
(you used to nick off smoking drugs with the local pot heads back then didn't you once say, that'd stress any old fashioned non drug smoking parent right out )
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Kikilamour » Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:09 pm

that's really tone deaf dbrother.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby dBrother » Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:23 pm

Fair enough,

Cousins buried me uncle the other day, literally, long story, but he terrorized their childhoods with random beatings and anger on the whim of his narcissistic (finally clinically diagnosed once he went all alzeimers and got even more difficult) moods their whole lives until they left to get out of there.

Just putting klaras dad into a bit of perspective.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Kikilamour » Thu Oct 12, 2017 1:53 pm

someone else's misfortunes don't negate hers. there's no perspective to be gained. it comes across as blaming the the innocent, saying rub some dirt on it and excusing her father.

he was the adult, he was wrong. period.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Klara » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:03 pm

DBro's being an arse.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby VinnyD » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:06 pm

My oldest friend has two daughters. I find it interesting that the older girl looks exactly like him but has her mother's personality in large measure, and that the younger is just the opposite on both counts.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby VinnyD » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:09 pm

Klara wrote:DBro's being an arse.

I am surprised to see you making such a grammatical mistake, Klara. When you use the continuous, you are implying that you are talking about right now, not identifying a permanent characteristic. You want the present simple here.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Kikilamour » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:10 pm

ha. that's going to go over dbro's head.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby rezuar » Thu Oct 12, 2017 2:13 pm

Heheheh.
I might use this in one of my classes.
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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby Total Reject » Thu Oct 12, 2017 3:24 pm

My parents are really laidback, fun, adventurous. Great hosts. Dad has gotten more conservative and paranoid, but in general they are both good people. I'd be proud to turn into them.

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Re: When did you turn into one of your parents?

Postby sodelicious » Thu Oct 12, 2017 4:12 pm

leela wrote:Closed isn't a hit, it's a punch.


It can be both.
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