Today is a strange day.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby section8 » Fri Aug 22, 2014 6:18 pm

Every picture I saw of him was on the spectrum of joy. You made him very happy and I hope you are surrounded by love ones.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby snowgirl » Fri Aug 22, 2014 6:20 pm

Oh, purps, I'm so so sorry to hear this. What a terrible shock. Sending strength and love.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby auntie_social » Fri Aug 22, 2014 6:22 pm

All the best to you today, Purps, we are all thinking of you. I am thankful that you are with family.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Kikilamour » Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:09 pm

i'm all teary reading this. what a shock. i'm so very sorry for your pain and loss.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby cultureshock » Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:59 pm

damn, purps, sad to find out about this.
be strong, talk with friends and family and cry as much as you want.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Shavenhead » Fri Aug 22, 2014 8:05 pm

Condolences.

An awful thing to have to deal with.

Strength.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby coffeeguy » Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:55 pm

Very sorry to hear this very unfortunate news. My sincere condolences.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby 2wilzgood » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:22 pm

I'm so sorry you have this day.
One thing that may give you strength is that you will always have the fondest memories.
Fondness is the gift of love, today and tomorrow.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Godjira » Sat Aug 23, 2014 2:12 am

Very sorry to hear this terrible news. How old was he?
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby LuZbelito » Sat Aug 23, 2014 2:21 am

I am terribly sorry. My condolences.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Arancini » Sat Aug 23, 2014 2:26 am

Condolences on your loss purps.
I wish you strength to somehow get through this.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby kekkles » Sat Aug 23, 2014 3:34 am

Purps,I've lost close family members recently and in the past a lot.The pain and the feelings and memories do fade.It becomes bearable in time.Mourn the dead and then get on with your life.Life belongs with the living.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby RichD » Sat Aug 23, 2014 3:40 am

My deepest condolences. How terribly sad.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Steve_in_Exile » Sat Aug 23, 2014 3:49 am

Very shocking and sad. You seem way to young to be having to deal with this type of loss.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Potpie » Sat Aug 23, 2014 4:40 am

hugs.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Lost Soul » Sat Aug 23, 2014 7:19 am

Damn, Purple.

That's not fair.

I can only imagine the pain of my mate dying in my presence. I'm still bummed out that my favorite dog died in 2001.

Nothing to add except hang in there, cry on mom, and don't make any big decisions for a while.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Higgledy_Piggledy » Sat Aug 23, 2014 8:48 am

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby dragon » Sat Aug 23, 2014 2:22 pm

I'm so very sorry too.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Lulu » Sat Aug 23, 2014 5:56 pm

Oh Purple, no, I am so shocked but more than that, so deeply, unspeakably sorry.

I remember your posts from the early days here, how you were always so open and unguarded about your struggles in life and in love. Everyone here adored you for it too.

And then it seemed like magic this wonderful man came into your life and you embraced your happiness and good luck and sailed off into the sunset with him. It was a beautiful thing to behold.

This tale ended far too soon but I agree with others that you had something that few will in a lifetime. Just wanted to add that the choice of your avatar is perfect, the symbolism is exquisite and speaks of the oneness of the spirit and physical worlds, as I hope you will experience in these strange (to use your word) days and in the years to come.

Love to you.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby veronica_inheels » Sat Aug 23, 2014 7:05 pm

oh my god.

i am very very sorry purple.


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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Scott_Baio » Sat Aug 23, 2014 10:48 pm

I am floored right now. Absolutely floored. I can't believe this. From my family, I want you to know that we are very sorry for your loss, Purps. Stay strong.

God Bless.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby andybox » Sun Aug 24, 2014 12:36 am

I saw a photo of you and your husband on either here or on TTYC, and you spoke of how you were loving living a new life in Adelaide. You were both beaming; broad smoles across your faces, and looked the perfect couple. I would smile when you spoke of walking to the beach and to your favourite restaurant, and reading about your trips into the Barossa Valley made me want to visit South Australia again. My heartfelt condolences to you and your extended family Purps.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby amirayt » Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:14 am

Oh my. I just came back from the funeral of my friend's husband. From the attack to how quickly he passed is eerily similar except they were not traveling when it happened. We all are still in shock.

So very sorry for your loss.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby dBrother » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:00 am

really sorry to hear this Purps, not much i can say but even my thoughts are with you..
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby janieblack » Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:16 am

So, so sorry, purps. I loved meeting you and J last year. Like pez and ehs found, meeting weirdos off the internet is so much easier when they are so normal and happy, like you and J were. You're so brave in the face of this horrible thing.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Moethebartender » Sun Aug 24, 2014 3:29 pm

My condolences. So very sad...
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby palindrome » Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:08 pm

I'm so sorry Purps. My condolences.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby gnd » Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:00 pm

Can´t imagine how difficult that is. What a lovely story of your life together, what wonderful memories ya´ll had together:). Sorry for your loss Purps.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Rubyrain » Mon Aug 25, 2014 1:33 am

Oh No, I am so sorry for your loss Purps. Peace to him, and love, support, and strength, to you.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Purps » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:15 am

Thanks all. Words cannot describe how painful this is and I am just trying to get through minute by minute. I'm so glad J never has to experience this pain. Feels like I'm trapped in a nightmare acid trip.

I just don't know what to do about my own future-return to te UK or stay in Oz. I have a great job there that will give me a sabbatical, help me with therapy (my manager is a psychologist), and no doubt support a slow and supported return to work. Or I come home and go on the dole, which is humiliating for me.

I love Australia, the weather, the beaches and I gave friends there, but this whole trauma has brought it home about being close to family too,

What to do.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby erkat » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:24 am

Purps - you don't have to decide immediately.

Take some time to get used to this new version of life before making such a big move.

Huge hugs to you- the words Pez shared showed how special you and J were together.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby leela » Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:51 am

You really shouldn't make any major decisions right now. I was fortunate enough to have plenty of time to come to terms with my husband's terminal condition, but even so, I was in no condition to make well considered decisions for some time after his death.

Your circumstances are so much more shocking, so you need time to gain some equilibrium before making life changing decisions.

I'm very glad you have such a supportive employer. Take up all that they can offer you. There's plenty of time to think through your long term future.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Godjira » Mon Aug 25, 2014 11:16 am

Try staying in Oz for a while at least.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby RandomThoughts » Mon Aug 25, 2014 11:35 am

As you said...you feel like you're trapped in a nightmare acid trip....so that is probably not the place where the best decisions are made. You may end up deciding to return to the UK eventually, but you really should give yourself some healing time before you make that decision. At some point the answer to that question will become clear to you.

It seems to me that keeping intact as much as possible the structure of your life as it was for the time being would help maintain a sense of comfort and support for you as you adjust to this new version of the future...but in the end only you can know if that is so. With a supportive employer, and considering the nature of your work and the extra help from that source - it makes me think you'd be helped along through this time of sorrow in a way that would be better than going it alone.

There is no underestimating the power of having family around - but I think you'd find that they'll go back to their normal daily lives almost immediately, which could make you feel unsupported...almost forgotten... OR perhaps maybe you'd feel comforted by that old familiar family dynamic. Again, only you can know.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby leela » Mon Aug 25, 2014 1:41 pm

Random Thoughts said what I wanted to say, but was too inarticulate to express.Especially this bit:

It seems to me that keeping intact as much as possible the structure of your life as it was for the time being would help maintain a sense of comfort and support for you as you adjust to this new version of the future.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Barbarella » Mon Aug 25, 2014 2:19 pm

Jesus only just seeing this, not sure if we've interacted much on here but you think you have problems til you read something like this. This is a pure tragedy you are going through. I am so very sorry for your loss.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby VinnyD » Mon Aug 25, 2014 3:46 pm

Seconding the people who set to put off major decisions for a while. I know some people who have made some bad choices immediately following the death of a loved one. After whatever break is absolutely necessary, try to go back to more-or-less normal life for at least six months before any major change.

And now that I'm here let me add my condolences and best wishes for strength in this difficult time.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Vodd » Mon Aug 25, 2014 5:52 pm

We forget how lucky we are in life, until death. My heartfelt condolences. Take strength from your support network to help you stagger though these dark, initial months.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby VinceFoster » Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:32 pm

I'm really sorry this happened, Purple. Be good to yourself. I'm sure J would want you to flourish on the other side of what you're dealing with right now.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby birdlite » Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:42 pm

Oh purps, I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you.
The stories of your romance and life with your husband always filled me with joy. You are in my thoughts.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby CatScanMan » Mon Aug 25, 2014 8:58 pm

This is terrible, I'm sorry purps.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby cultureshock » Mon Aug 25, 2014 9:03 pm

sorry again purps, and a thanx to pez for the explanation, i wanted to ask what happened but thought better of it.
glad i finally read the thread.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby DaBaba » Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:00 am

Wow! Just got around to looking at this. My heart breaks for you. My condolences.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby spampants » Tue Aug 26, 2014 7:29 am

Nothing I can say hasn't already been said, just wanted to add a voice of sympathy
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Andrea1 » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:05 am

I cried reading Pez's words, but there was a fond memory in there too - it has been one of the joys of this place, to follow your and Pez's wonderful meeting, falling in love, marrying, moving to Oz, journeys. I am so shocked and so so sorry.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Ryan » Tue Aug 26, 2014 2:42 pm

I don't know if it's possible, but a gut feel would be to stay in Australia for a while - maybe get somebody from your close family out with you for as long as possible.

Sorry again PG.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby Stephen_Dedalus » Tue Aug 26, 2014 11:22 pm

What Ryan said.

Not alone though, no.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby phlebas » Wed Aug 27, 2014 12:43 am

PG's husband was a good man, the best.

It breaks my heart that she had to say goodbye to him.
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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby mishmish » Wed Aug 27, 2014 2:06 pm

Ohgeeze purple im so very sorry to hear that. Wishing you comfort and strength to get through it all. It will get bearable at some point in the future, i promise.

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Re: Today is a strange day.

Postby misanthrope » Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:41 pm

I've just read this and I'm stunned. You guys seemed to be one of the happy endings. I'm so very sorry.

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